New Month, New Update, New News

Happy November! It is the start of a new month, so that means it’s time for a new blog post (and picture.)

The last couple of weeks have been interesting learning how to eat again. As a food lover, I NEVER thought I would say I had to “learn” how to eat again, but I have. It’s weird, quite honestly. Some days it’s easier than others, but now, I just have to remind myself to plan ahead. So while preparing lunches and helping Tom prepare the kids for the day ahead (while also trying to juggle laundry that won’t end, figuring out who is getting whom to the next sports practice or game, and reviewing with the kids for the day’s tests--figuratively and literally), I also have to think about what I’m going to have for lunch. I am trying to always have something on hand to take with me so I don’t have to rely on a spur of the moment choice --which doesn’t always end well. (As a side note, I can’t really eat that much anymore, and I have found some delicious Lean Cuisine frozen meals—my favorite is the White Vermont Cheddar Mac and Cheese.) It’s just cheesy enough and hits the spot; of course, it takes me 30 minutes to eat the entire thing if I don’t give up!

Anyway, eating out has been interesting and everyone is always so nice and accommodating about it (which makes me a tad uncomfortable, but it is appreciated.) I have ventured to a few places, and some have been a strange experience for me. Sunday evening, I ventured out with Tom and Zane and we decided to go to Moe’s (cue the happy greeting when you walk in the door: Welcome to Moe’s!!!!!) I was excited about getting a taco salad (I haven’t been able to eat salad and I have missed it.) Well, I took about 4 bites and couldn’t eat anymore. In fact, I just felt sick. I think I may have eaten it too fast or something, but it wasn’t enjoyable at all. (And typically, I love a Moe’s Taco Salad with chicken.) I had about 3 chips before I ate the salad and I guess I filled up on those. Lesson learned, but I just hate spending money on food and not being able to take it home (kinda hard to take home a salad and eat it later.)

Halloween: So yesterday was Halloween and if you know me even remotely well, you know I’m not a big holiday person -- except for Thanksgiving -- I LOVE Thanksgiving. Well, having kids sometimes (okay, A LOT of times) requires that you do stuff you don’t particularly like (I’m takling to you, television shows like Teen Titans Go! and pretty much everything on Nickelodeon.) In my case, it is decorating for Halloween, dressing up and then going trick or treating. I didn’t like trick or treating when I was a kid. Not. At. All. But being a mom means I like to see my kids smile and be happy (and sacrifice dammit!) And my kids like it when I dress up for Halloween. (Even Tripp, though he may not say it, but he’s 11, so you know, he’s practically a teenager already.) This year, I decided to be a “Mombie” aka Mommy Zombie. (pretty much what I feel like when I wake up in the morning.) So, I put on a bath robe, donned some of Zane’s zombie makeup (he was a Zombie Football player) and ta da!!! Halloween. (for the record, Tripp is Domingo Ayala, a You Tube sensation among the athletic-type youth of today-- basically, he does You Tube videos about baseball, talks in a Dominican accent and the kids love him.)

 

One of Zane’s friends was having a little hayride and party, so I took him. And was suddenly transported to that scene in the original Bridget Jones’ Diary where she shows up to the party in full out Playboy bunny costume and only to be... you guessed it.. the only parent dressed up. (Now that I think about it, Zombie Playboy bunny would have been a great costume, but I digress.) Awkward….

Sigh… but at least my kid liked it and he was happy. A good time was had by all, and both kids got a bunch of candy. Speaking of candy, I only had one piece of Halloween candy. Yes, I’m proud of that. I’m wearing that like a badge of honor. (Please note, there is no shame in eating more than one piece of Halloween candy and that is how I have spent the previous 40 years on October 31.)

New adventure: About two years ago, I made a big decision in terms of my career. I decided to leave Hilton Worldwide after 12 years and venture into the world of healthcare communications and marketing. I've learned a lot, met some great people, but recently a new opportunity came my way and I’ve decided to take it. As of November 14, I will be joining Memphis-based EdR as the Vice President of Corporate Communications and Marketing. EdR is a fantastic company that is truly changing the college experience for the bright minds of today. They are one of the leading developers of collegiate housing throughout the U.S. and manage a lot of beds at these colleges. Trust me, these housing complexes don't look anything like they did when I went to school.  It’s an awesome opportunity for me to get back into the real estate development world (this work is VERY similar to what I did at Hilton) and I’m very excited about it. So, more BIG changes for me and my family. (Look at you, 2016, you’ve been an interesting year for me.)

And finally, an update: As of mid-July, I have lost 58.4 pounds. Since surgery on August 23, I have lost 43 pounds. I am truly astonished! But it’s not just about the pounds lost. I feel better. I sleep better. I have more energy. I think I’m even a more pleasant and giving person. (oh hell, who am I kidding?  I’m still cold and dead inside.) Seriously, I’m making exercise a priority and trying to get it in as much as possible. I know it is something I have to do. I’m trying to go to barre once a week and vary my exercise the other days.) And yes, barre class still hurts, but the “Barre-bies” are just so nice!

 

November 1, 2016

 

 

 

Dawn Ray of Sunshine's Mail Bag

I’m completely overwhelmed. As I have read through the Facebook comments, messages, personal phone calls and texts I received (and even the hallway conversations at school and work), I have been touched by the outpouring of support, love and encouragement I have received from so many amazing people. I have to say, I never expected it would reach so many people and would strike such a chord.

I wrote that blog post mainly for me—writing helps me process my thoughts and since I’ve struggled with this for some time, I thought it would be cathartic for me. I had no idea it would help others. I’ve heard from so many kinds of people-- those who are currently and have struggled with the same food issues or similar food issues, those who have had the surgery (or some type of bariatric procedure) done in the past, and those who were just touched and supportive of me. I’ve heard from family, friends, former co-workers and bosses, best friends, fellow BCS school moms and sports moms, fellow former daycare moms and casual acquaintances. I’ve been called brave and strong. People have told me they are proud of me, will be praying for me and will be my cheerleader. I’ve been thanked for my candor and transparency for bringing a private issue into the conversation. I’ve even been called a badass (best. compliment. ever.)

 Frankly, I can’t help but feel a bit selfish as I look back on this post. I It has gotten a lot of attention, and it wasn’t intended to do that, but it has made me realize a few things:

·         I am not brave. To me, people who overcome things that are beyond their control are brave. I’m scared to death, but I know I can do it.

·         People can be awesome. (Sure, they can also be assholes but this post has restored my faith in humanity and people.)

·         Lots of people struggle with food and weight issues (and not just overweight people.) Yes, even those skinny mamas I see wearing tennis skirts and those running shorts. I know they work hard to look good, even though they may struggle like I do. (Y’all know I love my skinny mamas!)

·         What an awesome tribe I have. Family, friends, everyone, from all over.

·         My husband is even more of a saint than I thought. Yep, I know y’all are shaking your head right now agreeing with me. I mean, here I am, putting my personal weight struggles up on a blog for everyone to see. This will be a huge life change for him. Y’all pray for him too!

 I’ve also been getting a lot of questions (which I appreciate) and other comments, so I thought I would attempt answer them. Kinda like Dawn Ray of Sunshine’s Mail Bag.

What kind of surgery is it?

I am having gastric sleeve or a laparoscopic sleeve gastrectomy. You can google it, but essentially, here’s what you need to know. They take out approximately 70% of your stomach and leave you with a “pouch” for a stomach. The result looks like a “sleeve,” hence the name. My new stomach will be MUCH smaller than before – much like the size of a child’s stomach.

Is it permanent?

Yes, once they remove my stomach laparoscopically (through my belly button), they can’t put it back in. Ain’t no turning back once it’s out!

Wait, what?

Yep, you heard me correctly. That’s what they do. If you want to see the surgery for yourself (I personally HAD to watch it!!!) Then here you go… (WARNING! It is VERY graphic and shows the actual surgery from the inside of the body as it occurs.) You may have seen more graphic things on Grey’s Anatomy, but consider yourself warned.

 But you don’t look like you need this surgery.

Bless your heart. That’s so sweet (and dumb/naïve) of you.  I do. Trust me.

 You can’t possibly be that much overweight that you need surgery?

Again, bless your heart. I need to lose about 100 pounds or more according to my BMI (I haven’t set a weight target just yet.) And trust me, they won’t do this surgery if you just need to trim up and lose a few pounds. It is for the morbidly obese (and yes, as much as I want to cry typing that phrase,  I am considered that.)

There is a range that you have to meet in terms of your BMI to qualify for this surgery. I am on the lowest range, but I still qualify. (That means I’m fat enough for the surgery)

 What’s the recovery like?

If all goes well, I will be in the hospital for one night only. Then I will be home to recover. I will be off work for three weeks. You are welcome to come enjoy some broth with me. I plan to have many flavors.

 So what can you eat after surgery?

For the first two weeks, I will be on a liquid diet (mostly broth) and then slowly transition to a pureed food diet and then to soft foods. After 8 weeks, I will be able to transition to a low fat diet. (You know, the kind we should all be eating anyway.)

You don’t need to do something so drastic, you just need to exercise and walk more, or eat less.

I realize this statement is coming from a place of love and concern, but no shit. We all need to walk and exercise more and eat less. (and I’ve heard this multiple times and I realize no one means any offense.)

Isn’t this taking the easy way out?

Is that even a question?

What can I do for you and your family?

Mostly, please send good vibes and pray for not only me, but for my family – all of us. This will be tough on everyone but I have vowed to make this as seamless for them as possible. So yes, if we have plans that revolve around food, the Ray Family will still be there. I just may be drinking my broth or some protein shake. (I also may not come right at first, so please don’t be offended.)

Can I bring your family dinner?  

This is such a true display of Southern hospitality and love, one for which I am immensely grateful. I have had several people ask if they can and it is honestly hard to say no. (I’ve tried saying no and some of our friends just weren’t having that answer.) I will have plenty of meals from Hope’s Dinner on Demand stocked in my freezer and Tom is an excellent cook. But if you want to bring Tom and the boys something, we would greatly appreciate it. Please just coordinate with either one of us after I’ve been home a few days.

 

Again, I am overwhelmed at this support. You are all badasses.