This is it, folks. The day we Americans all wait for. The day friends gather together to celebrate. It's the next big eating holiday since Christmas.. Yep, the Super Bowl. Sure there is a football game being played, and companies spend millions of dollars for a 30 second spot to be showcased to the world, but it's also about the food--the Super Bowl of Snacking! Boy will it be different for me this year! I'm planning on snacking a bit, but in moderation. (Partly because I've changed my lifestyle and also because my stomach won't hold the vats of Rotel dip, french onion dip and pizza rolls I typically consumer on this American holiday. Let me be clear, I do plan on eating some yummy Super Bowl food- just in much smaller portions. We are having chicken wings (my favorite) but they will be grilled and not breaded and fried. I didn't make any Rotel dip or buy french onion dip (because if I eat a little of that, I won't be able to enjoy anything else.) And I don't really care who wins this game, but I do care about commercials and the chicken wings!
Feb. 5, 2017
73 pounds down
So now it's time for my monthly update and picture. It's been about 5 1/2 months since my gastric sleeve surgery, and I'm down 73 pounds. I'm not even sure what size I really am, but I know some of the sizes I have are a bit big but I refuse to buy new things with spring right around the corner. (Like the jeans in the pic above. I bought them Black Friday and they fit very nicely, now they are a bit saggy- which poses a challenge when you are trying to rock the skinny jean/ankle boot look.) Anyway, my weight loss has slowed a bit, but it is still astonishing to me. And truthfully, it's hard to see how much I have transformed. I look at myself in the mirror every day getting ready for work, and I see the same ol' Dawn. But other folks see it in me and it's strange to hear. It's very weird, and I don't know what to say, so I just say "thanks." (Guess that's all I can say, huh?)
I haven't really had a goal weight in mind (or an amount in mind to lose) but as I've started to get further along, I'm starting to think about it. I haven't settled on it yet, but I promise when I do I will blog about it.
For now, I'm just trying to get back into my workout routine (it's been hard the last few weeks with lots of things going on, mainly my mom having knee surgery) but I'm back at it. Honestly it makes me feel better to be active -- mark that day with "things I never thought I would say." I'm ready for the weather to get a little warmer so I can walk outside some. But for now, I will work out at the gym. (Gonna get back to Pure Barre eventually when my back feels better.) Apparently I have bursitis (which makes me sound like an 85 year old woman) and I'm on an anti-inflammatory to help it. So once I get that under control, I will be back at the barre.
Enjoy your Super Bowl everyone. No matter who are you rooting for, I hope you enjoy your snacks!
Forgive me, friends, for not posting my update on the first of the month as planned. It's been a little crazy this month with the holidays, and I got a nasty cold that had me down for a few days. And what a nasty cold it was! Honestly, I can't remember the last time a cold had me in the bed, but this one kicked my butt! Just like everyone, we had a very busy holiday season and really enjoyed some great family time together. I woke up New Year's Eve with a cold and it took me more than a week to get over it. But I'm better now and back on my workout schedule, so I wanted to do my update picture and monthly progress. (It helps keep me on track.)
January 10, 2017 140 days post surgery
Here I am 140 days post surgery (roughly four months.) As of January 10, I have lost a total of 72.3 pounds (57.3 pounds since surgery day.) That is more pounds than Zane weighs!! I have so much more energy and I have such a different outlook on life, to be quite honest. I mean, I'm the same person -- bossy, still require a lot of sleep, still fall asleep if I sit still long enough, blah blah blah -- but I feel much better. I can hang with my kiddos a bit more and I'm getting much more used to the portion sizes and how much I can eat without feeling awful. I don't get it right every time, but man when I get it right, I feel so much better. I know it is just re-training myself how to eat, and I'm getting there. But get this, y'all!!! I shopped from the regular women's section!!!! (Oh yes, cue the applause and music.) I have a few pieces of clothing that I can wear, but it was getting about time to replace a main staple in my "uniform" -- black pants. So yesterday I ventured out to Marshall's before a busy day of basketball games and I bought two pair of black pants. From the regular women's section. SHUT. UP. Not the plus size section. THE REGULAR WOMEN'S SECTION. I haven't done that in years. In fact, the workout clothing I have been buying the last couple of months has been from the regular women's section. (Seems my new lifestyle has me buying more workout and "athleisure" wear than work clothing- at least right now.) As my friend Toni would say, it was a red-letter day on the calendar! It's the little things that I get excited about. (They seem little, but they aren't to me.) Such as, not having as much trouble crossing my legs. Or -- this one makes me laugh out loud -- finally being able to do the Reese Witherspoon red carpet pose (you know the one, one foot tightly crossed over the other.)
Don't get me wrong, NO ONE is going to mistake me for Reese Witherspoon any time soon -- or EVER -- but I've always noticed that red carpet pose and just couldn't do it. Well, now I can. So look at me. (Yes, I know I am oddly proud of this.) And let me be clear, I won't be going to any red carpets any time soon, or ever, but if there is one at the basketball gym or baseball field, I will definitely be ready with my Reese pose.
I am conflicted. On the surface (and in the record books), 2016 has been a shitty year. The US had the worst Presidential candidates and election situation ever. (Seriously, it was a bit like watching Jerry Springer on a worldwide scale.) We've lost some of the best and brightest at their craft in Hollywood, Sports, Music and Literature: Prince, Muhammad Ali, Craig Sager, Carrie Fisher, Debbie Reynolds, George Michael, Glenn Frey, Alan Rickman, Harper Lee, Joey Feek, Nancy Reagan, Merle Haggard, Gordie Howe, Anton Yelchin, Pat Summitt, Garry Marshall, Garry Shandling, Steven Hill (Adam Schiff on Law & Order), Gene Wilder, Jose Fernandez, Arnold Palmer, Gwen Ifill, Florence Henderson, John Glenn, Alan Thicke, I know the list goes on... By all accounts, it's been shitty. And it seems if we are able to make it through the next 2 days of 2016 without any more deaths, we will be lucky. (The dark humor side of me wishes I had been in a version of Howard Stern's "Celebrity Death Pool" because I could have made some serious coin.) Okay, I don't mean to make light of it, but if we don't laugh about it, we will cry ourselves into 2017. But for me, 2016 has been life-changing. And frankly, life-saving. And not just physically. Sure, I made a huge decision to have gastric sleeve surgery. I've lost about 70 pounds and I'm exercising on a regular basis. I've completely changed my outlook on food and finally come to grips with why I eat as well as what I eat. (It is still sometimes a struggle, but I am very aware of these things now, whereas I couldn't say that before.) But as much work as I've put in on the physical me, I've put in as much work on the spiritual and emotional me. It's the me you can't see upon first glance, but trust me, she's in there and she's very different now. Early in the year, I decided to rid myself of some toxic things in my life. Everything from negative self-talk to negative and toxic relationships in my personal and professional life to impostor syndrome. (I still suffer from that and that's another blog post for another time, but I'm working on that.) In January, I really began working on ME. Even though Tom has been telling me for years that I needed to take care of myself, it finally started to sink in. Y'all know I'm hard headed and it took a while for that to sink in!! So I started the journey of self-discovery and frankly, I didn't like what I discovered. So I set out to change it. I started the gastric sleeve journey (a LONG journey to surgery) and then I began examining every aspect of my life. I didn't go and broadcast this work to anyone, not even to Tom. But I needed to find ME again. So I began to listen to my conversations and daily interactions with people -- and not just listen to wait for my turn to talk, but really listen to understand and learn. I wanted to know how people viewed me, and that included my own family, especially Tom and my kids. I stumbled a lot, heck, I even cried some. It wasn't always pretty, but it was enlightening. There were some things that were said to me (either blatantly or in passing) or things I read that had a profound impact on me. They have stuck with me, and probably always will. Here are a few to note: "WOW! What a great laugh you've got. I've never heard you laugh like that before!" This one seems innocent enough and was just an observation from one of the baseball dads from Tripp's baseball team while we were all at the beach together, but it was like taking a punch in the gut. (And I'm so grateful he said it.) I love to laugh. I live to laugh. It's who I am. I love to make people laugh. I love to make my kids laugh. Laughter is the best part of life. People used to tell me all the time what a great (loud, obnoxious) laugh I had and how it was infectious. I hadn't heard that in years. So when he said it, it hit me in the face, hard. I realized I hadn't heard that in years. And frankly, I hadn't laughed like that in years. It caused me to ask Tom about it. And he agreed. He said I don't laugh like I used to anymore. And he was right. I didn't. I vowed then to find my laugh again. (So thanks, Collins Day. You are appreciated.) "You can't be a man. Be a woman. It's powerful business when done correctly." This is a quote from Mad Men. Several quotes from Mad Men appear on this list. I watched the show in it's entirety at the beginning of 2016 and it had a profound impact on me in both a personal and professional sense. (Truly, it's in my top 3 shows I consider to be the best shows ever made outside of Seinfeld: Mad Men, The Shield and Breaking Bad.) . The quote is from Bobbie Barrett, who was the wife/manager of the obnoxious comedian Jimmy Barrett, who did the VO work for the Utz Potato Chip account at Sterling Cooper. She was talking to Peggy Olson. Peggy was a young, naive sort at the agency, and one with whom I identified with greatly. She began as a secretary, answering phones, but showed a penchant for copywriting and worked her way into one of the most valuable employees at Sterling Cooper. (She also had the most bad ass scene I've pretty much ever seen in a TV show...)
Everything about this scene is bad ass. Peggy's growth as an advertising executive AND as a woman is summed up in this 25 seconds. Her cigarette, her sunglasses, and her NSFW Japanese porn painting epitomize the swagger she carries as she walks into her new role at McCann Erickson. This scene, and the growth of the Peggy character, influenced my life this year in so many ways. Bobbie is telling Peggy that she doesn't have to be like a man to get noticed at her job. She needs to understand men and how they think and operate, but she has an immense power as a women and she should use it. WOW. Very heavy and very true. I've tapped into my inner Peggy Olson many times this year, and intend to keep doing it. "Etre bien dans sa peau," (French for "to be well in my skin"): I am not even sure where I saw this (likely Facebook where all wisdom can be found these days :)) but it stuck with me. I was extremely uncomfortable in my own skin and I have been for years. This little French phrase has taught me to just be comfortable with who I am, and not worry about who I'm not. I haven't perfected that yet, but I'm working on it. "I'm calling to let you know you've been approved for gastric sleeve surgery." That little sentence changed my life. It was a huge leap on a journey full of liquids, baby foods and purees for a few months, but a leap for which I am so very grateful. "I'd love to offer you this job and have you be a part of our team." Such a great phone call to receive (and it was so perfectly timed!) In November, I joined the team at EdR. It's a great chance for me to lead their communications and marketing efforts and be a part of a company that is redefining collegiate housing. "We need you to write us a check for $3,000": I won't get into the details that are behind this comment, but it speaks to the incompetence some people (and companies) possess. And it was a defining moment for me. Thanks to the urging of my supportive husband, I refused to just "write the check" and demand documentation for other's mistakes. He reminded me that I'm not here to clean up the mistakes due to other's incompetence. Also, it was a reminder that I am a decent, honest person. (That's always a good reminder!) #notmyproblem
"People tell you who they are, but we ignore it because we want them to be who we want them to be." Mind. Blown. Right?!??! Why did it take a fictional male chauvinist character on a TV Show to get me to understand this? People show their true colors to you all the time. We just choose whether to see them or not. And damn, some folks have really showed me their true colors this year. A few showed me how truly selfish they really are and how they were only out for themselves. They showed me their arrogance and their blatant disregard for other people's feelings (including mine.) Of course, not all people are like this, but some really showed their true colors to me this year. Or better yet, I finally began to see them.
"If you don't like what's being said, change the conversation." Sure, it's been said before by others, but it stuck with me when Don Draper said it on Mad Men. We are in charge of our destiny and how others view us. We are ultimately in charge of that conversation and changing that conversation if we don't like it. This year, I've worked hard at both. And I think I've changed the conversation on many fronts.
"Sometimes things just don't work out." This is one I actually said to someone, and it was a defining moment for me. Nearly two years ago, I took a leap of faith and took a new job. I stepped out of my comfort zone at Hilton and went into healthcare. And you know what? It didn't quite work out as planned. And that's okay. Not everything works out all the time, no matter how much we want it to. (Took me until I was 40 to figure that out.)
Now I know this list looks like a lot of self-empowering quotes that make me look like I have all my shit together. HAHHAHAHAHA!! Far from the truth. I have stumbled quite a bit this year and I most certainly will in 2017 and beyond. And I'm still my worry-wart self: I worry about my youngest child and how he fits in socially; I worry about his attention span and his maturity level even though he is wicked smart; I worry about the fact that he shows no interest in riding a bike for himself and question whether we should have held him back a grade earlier on because most of the kids in his grade are nearly a year older than he is; I worry about the fact that we just put $5,000 worth of braces in my oldest son's mouth; I worry about how we are going to get both boys to practices and get school and studying done and how we can do all of that while working and not going insane. I worry about what we are going to eat for dinner and what three bites or so I'm going to have for dinner; I worry about when I'm going to go to the gym; I worry if I'm a good wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. I worry about the violence in Memphis and if we can overcome it; I worry about our great nation and how divided we all are and if we can survive the turbulent election and the upcoming inauguration. I worry.
So on paper, 2016 was shitty. So much death. So much weirdness in the world. So much animosity and violence and not enough love. So in that regard, it was shitty. But it was also transformational. In 2017, I'm choosing to change the conversation. I'm choosing to channel my inner Don Draper and Peggy Olson and be who I am and make no apologies for it. I'm choosing to show my true colors and be sure to sniff out others' before I invest my precious time in them. In 2017, I'm continuing to choose ME (and Tom, Zane and Tripp and Mama Sue and others I hold dear.) And I'm going to laugh. I'm going to laugh the real, infectious, loud and obnoxious Dawn Ray laugh.
And if that bothers you, then too bad. Je suis bien dans ma peau. And that's#notmyproblem (nor it is Peggy Olson's.)
Sorry I’m just now getting to the December 1 update on
December 10, but I’ve been a little busy. Between my new job, lots of basketball
practice and games for the boys, and preparing for Christmas, Team Ray has had
a lot going on.
So, I’ll just get right to the point. I went for my
three-month post op checkup last week and here are my stats: down 65 pounds (50
since surgery August 23), I have lost 46 percent of my excess body weight. Wow.
Just wow. Those are amazing numbers to me. And though I have a long way to go,
Tom keeps reminding me of how far I have come. And not just my weight and my
looks, but my attitude. My thoughts on food have changed and I am making
exercise a priority. (well, except those times I can’t muster up enough energy
to get out of bed at 5 a.m. and go to the gym, and then Tom reminds me that my
gym clothes that are lying on the bathroom floor are crying because they are
lonely.) But I’m exercising more than I ever have in my life. And I don’t hate
it.
December 1, 2016 3 months post-op
But even though we’ve been busy, I did take some time to do
something I desperately needed to do. I purged my closet. It was both a pain in
the ass, and also cathartic for me. My sweet mom helped me and we carved out a
few hours on a Saturday to tackle the task. I had clothes for days, and in all
sorts of places and closets in our house. I also had a vast array of sizes. In short, it
was a chore. Some things needed throwing away anyway because they were out of
style. Others I had saved to wear as transition clothes, but I managed to
bypass that size altogether, or couldn’t wear it because the weather didn’t match
up with the type of clothing. Some things I could look at and just tell it
wouldn’t fit, but other things I tried on. And you know what I discovered? I
discovered that I can’t even really "see" what size I am or how much weight I have truly
lost.
Then I began to try and put into perspective how much weight 65 pounds
was. Zane, my 6-year-old, weighs 65 pounds. I had lost the equivalent of a
healthy, active 6-year-old boy. I had a lot of emotions that day: amazement,
pride and anger. I was amazed that I had actually lost that much weight in such a short period of time. I was so proud of myself for doing something that I
truly never thought was possible. (Seriously, I put some of those clothes on
and they absolutely fell off me, when they used to fit or be tight.) And
truthfully, I was angry. I was angry that I couldn’t have figured this out on
my own in the first 40 years of my life. That I had let myself get to the point
that I had to have 70 percent of my stomach removed to get my s#!t together.
But I didn’t dwell on that too long, because we had work to do.
We had piles for Goodwill, piles for consignment and piles
for Dress for Success. I made $60 from the ones I consigned (honestly, I hate consigning, so many rules!!!)
and then I donated so many nice clothes to Dress for Success. My closet is
pretty bare right now, but I’m making do with what I have that fits and I’ve
bought a few basic pieces to wear and rotate. It seems my “uniform” is a color
cardigan or jacket over a black dress or black slacks. I only have two pair of
jeans and a few casual items, but I’m getting it done. There is a lot of room
in my closet, but it has made me realize that I don’t need as many clothes as I
once had. Of course, my feet didn’t change sizes, so I still need as many shoes
as Carrie Bradshaw.
Like many Memphians (and music fans), I love Justin Timberlake. He’s talented, funny, a great
entertainer and just relatable. Beyond that, I just really like his songs. One
of the ones I’ve always liked is What Goes Around…Comes Around. Y'all know the
one I’m talking about. It’s rumored to be the “sequel” to Cry Me a River, which was about JT’s ex, Britney Spears, and the rumored subject of the song is one of his friends and his celebrity girlfriend. It’s a break up song, one that is
about finding out in time that what comes around goes around. JT sings about
how he can’t believe this is how we are saying goodbye, but in time, what comes
around goes around. Well, that song has been in my head a lot the last few
weeks, and not because of any scorned lover or break up situation. Well, sort
of. Let me explain.
If you know me well, you know I love college basketball. And
2008 was a banner year for me and my college basketball fandom. Truthfully, it
is where my love for the Memphis Tigers basketball team bordered on obsession.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, then just google it. Our little old
Memphis Tigers spent a good portion of the season at the top of the basketball
polls. Now, we’ve always been a basketball town here in Memphis and truthfully,
have always loved our Tigers and we’ve had a few shining moments in the
national spotlight (Larry Finch, Penny Hardaway) and have had some nice
tournament runs, but nothing anyone outside of Memphis would count as
considerable. Then we hired arguably one of the best college basketball coaches
to ever coach the game. John Calipari. He took the best available college
basketball job there was, and at the time, that was Memphis. Cal had previously
coached at UMass and had bolted the college scene for the NBA and it didn’t go
so well. He needed out of New Jersey. Memphis came calling, and he accepted. It
was rocky at first (which may be putting it mildly.) But he was afforded
patience by the residents of our fair city and there’s one thing you can say
about Memphians, we get behind something with all of our passion. And after a
couple of seasons, we were behind him 100 percent. For better or worse, we began to welcome him
as a Memphian. Heck, we even welcomed him as family. And when he took us to the
Promised Land (The NCAA Tournament—all hail March Madness) as a #1 seed, we
rejoiced. We cheered through the entire tournament (even when they said we
would be he first #1 seed in history to be beaten by a #16 seed.) We hung on
and we made it to the Championship Game. And then, we lost. And that hurt. A
lot. Hell, it still does hurt. But somehow we got through it. We all cried
together. And we looked forward to the next season.
The next season wasn’t as fruitful as the previous one, but
Cal had redeemed himself in the eyes of the college basketball world (the
general consensus much to Tiger fans chagrin was “if he can make Memphis that
successful, he can do that at another school.”) Kentucky—the mother of all
college basketball jobs—came calling and even though he said he wasn’t
interested and lied to Memphis fans and the Memphis media about leaving, he
left anyway. Without saying goodbye. Sort of like the equivalent of getting
broken up with via text message (only we didn’t even get the text message.) I
will spare you the details, but in short, he broke up with us for a hotter
woman. He left Memphis. Took our recruits, coaches and even our snow cone
machine and headed to Lexington.
Like all of Tiger Nation, I was distraught. I had bought everything
Calipari sold -- hook, line and blue and gray sinker. Just like he told us too,
I carried that chip on my shoulder. Now, my coach left. And he didn’t even say
goodbye. I was crushed. I was depressed. I took it entirely too hard (my
husband was genuinely worried about me.) Then, like the stages of grief, I got
mad. I began to formulate this (why my husband considered) unhealthy outlook
toward Calipari. So I did what any heartbroken person would do, I wrote a
letter.
I needed to break up with him. So I wrote a broke up letter to John
Calipari. I posted it on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/notes/dawn-ray/an-open-letter-to-coach-cal-from-a-tiger-fan/63807527053
. I sent it to by friends via email. It was cathartic for me. And with that
catharsis came my new pastime-complaining about Calipari. It sorta became my new “party trick.” Just the
mention of his name sent me into orbit. I got on my soapbox about him being a snake
oil salesman (can’t take credit for that phrase, that was all Tom Ray.) But I was
vocal. Friends and co-workers used to watch me unleash when anyone asked about
Calipari. When I was traveling for work, I would overhear someone at cocktail
parties say “ask Dawn about John Calipari,” just for their own entertainment. I
even was set off when I heard the words “University of Kentucky” or saw a UK
logo. I had it bad. I was a woman scorned. And you know what they say about the
fury of a woman scorned…
Slowly, I managed to get over the breakup. The Tigers hired
a new coach (uh, the only one he didn’t take with him to Kentucky) and I became
a Josh Pastner fan. I realized life kept chugging along (just like Red said in "The Shawshank Redemption" — I needed to “get
busy living or get busy dying.”) I tried to get busy living. Eventually, I didn’t
think about him as much. I didn’t talk about him as much. And I (almost got
over him.)
Then of course, he started doing really well at Kentucky (of
course he did, he’s a good coach and it’s one of the most storied programs in
college basketball history.) And it opened the wound again. I won't even get into the fury of having to vacate the wins from 2008 and take up the banner from our National Championship year. Because of him, that got erased from the history book and that banner doesn't hang. He eventually won a
National Championship at Kentucky and Big Blue Nation celebrated. They too, think he is a basketball god as I once did.
But eventually, the empty feeling you get after a
breakup subsided. Nowadays, I handle it pretty well. I only get a little
bothered by him a few times each basketball season—or when that fateful three
by Kansas’ Mario Chalmers in 2008 is shown repeatedly.
Now, here’s where the “what goes around comes around” part comes
into play. I started a new job about three weeks ago. I. LOVE. IT. There is one tiny irritant with it, however. I
can’t walk five feet in the office without being bombarded with a University of
Kentucky logo. Why, you ask? Well, I work for a company that is one of the
leading managers, developers and owners of collegiate housing. And our crown jewel,
flagship on-campus property? Yep, that’s right. The University of Kentucky.
There is a UK logo everywhere. On my new desk was a coaster set commemorating
the UK relationship. Over the next few weeks or so, I will even take a trip to
Lexington to tour our beautiful properties on the campus. I can’t seem to escape
it.
Now, I know that UK isn’t all Calipari. There's much more to Kentucky than a college basketball coach. It is a wonderful
school with strong academic programs, beautiful student housing and much more
to offer its students along with a strong basketball program. But to a sports fan like me, the universities
are associated with their college athletic programs. And if ever in a game of
word association, I will associate UK basketball with John Calipari.
So, JT. You had it right when you recorded that breakup
song. In time, you will find what goes around, goes around, goes around comess
all the way back around…. I just never thought it would be me on this end of
things. After all, I didn’t break his heart. He broke mine.
Happy November! It is the
start of a new month, so that means it’s time for a new blog post (and
picture.)
The last
couple of weeks have been interesting learning how to eat again. As a food
lover, I NEVER thought I would say I had to “learn” how to eat again, but I
have. It’s weird, quite honestly. Some days it’s easier than others, but now, I
just have to remind myself to plan ahead. So while preparing lunches and
helping Tom prepare the kids for the day ahead (while also trying to juggle
laundry that won’t end, figuring out who is getting whom to the next sports
practice or game, and reviewing with the kids for the day’s tests--figuratively and literally), I also have to think
about what I’m going to have for lunch. I am trying to always have something on
hand to take with me so I don’t have to rely on a spur of the moment choice --which doesn’t always end well. (As a side note, I can’t really eat that much
anymore, and I have found some delicious Lean Cuisine frozen meals—my favorite
is the White Vermont Cheddar Mac and Cheese.) It’s just cheesy enough and hits
the spot; of course, it takes me 30 minutes to eat the entire thing if I don’t
give up! Anyway,
eating out has been interesting and everyone is always so nice and
accommodating about it (which makes me a tad uncomfortable, but it is
appreciated.) I have ventured to a few places, and some have been a strange
experience for me. Sunday evening, I ventured out with Tom and Zane and we
decided to go to Moe’s (cue the happy greeting when you walk in the door: Welcome to Moe’s!!!!!) I was excited about getting
a taco salad (I haven’t been able to eat salad and I have missed it.) Well, I
took about 4 bites and couldn’t eat anymore. In fact, I just felt sick. I think
I may have eaten it too fast or something, but it wasn’t enjoyable at all. (And
typically, I love a Moe’s Taco Salad with chicken.) I had about 3 chips before I ate
the salad and I guess I filled up on those. Lesson learned, but I just hate
spending money on food and not being able to take it home (kinda hard to take
home a salad and eat it later.)
Halloween: So yesterday was Halloween and if you
know me even remotely well, you know I’m not a big holiday person -- except for
Thanksgiving -- I LOVE Thanksgiving. Well, having kids sometimes (okay, A LOT of
times) requires that you do stuff you don’t particularly like (I’m takling to
you, television shows like Teen Titans Go! and pretty much everything on
Nickelodeon.) In my case, it is decorating for Halloween, dressing up and then
going trick or treating. I didn’t like trick or treating when I was a kid. Not.
At. All. But being a mom means I like to see my kids smile and be happy (and sacrifice dammit!) And my kids like it
when I dress up for Halloween. (Even Tripp, though he may not say it, but he’s
11, so you know, he’s practically a teenager already.) This year, I decided to
be a “Mombie” aka Mommy Zombie. (pretty much what I feel like when I wake up in
the morning.) So, I put on a bath robe, donned some of Zane’s zombie makeup (he
was a Zombie Football player) and ta da!!! Halloween. (for the record, Tripp is Domingo Ayala, a You Tube sensation among the athletic-type youth of today-- basically, he does You Tube videos about baseball, talks in a Dominican accent and the kids love him.)
One of Zane’s friends was
having a little hayride and party, so I took him. And was suddenly transported to that
scene in the original Bridget Jones’ Diary where she shows up to the party in
full out Playboy bunny costume and only to be... you guessed it.. the only parent dressed up. (Now that I
think about it, Zombie Playboy bunny would have been a great costume, but I
digress.) Awkward….
Sigh… but at
least my kid liked it and he was happy. A good time was had by all, and both
kids got a bunch of candy. Speaking of candy, I only had one piece of Halloween
candy. Yes, I’m proud of that. I’m wearing that like a badge of honor. (Please
note, there is no shame in eating more than one piece of Halloween candy and
that is how I have spent the previous 40 years on October 31.)
New adventure: About two years ago, I made a big
decision in terms of my career. I decided to leave Hilton Worldwide after 12 years and
venture into the world of healthcare communications and marketing. I've learned a lot, met some great people, but recently a new opportunity came
my way and I’ve decided to take it. As of November 14, I will be joining
Memphis-based EdR as the Vice President of Corporate Communications and
Marketing. EdR is a fantastic company that is truly changing the college
experience for the bright minds of today. They are one of the leading developers of collegiate housing
throughout the U.S. and manage a lot of beds at these colleges. Trust me, these housing complexes don't look anything like they did when I went to school. It’s an awesome opportunity for me to get back into the
real estate development world (this work is VERY similar to what I did at
Hilton) and I’m very excited about it. So, more BIG changes for me and my
family. (Look at you, 2016, you’ve been an interesting year for me.)
And finally, an update: As of mid-July, I have lost 58.4
pounds. Since surgery on August 23, I have lost 43 pounds. I am truly astonished!
But it’s not just about the pounds lost. I feel better. I sleep better. I have
more energy. I think I’m even a more pleasant and giving person. (oh hell, who am I kidding?
I’m still cold and dead inside.) Seriously,
I’m making exercise a priority and trying to get it in as much as possible. I
know it is something I have to do. I’m trying to go to barre once a
week and vary my exercise the other days.) And yes, barre class still hurts,
but the “Barre-bies” are just so nice!
Nothing is
more humbling to a chunky girl (and even more, one that has recently lost a
good bit of weight) than going into a barre classes with a bunch of skinny,
toned belles of the barre. If you’ve never been to a barre exercise class (here
locally it is Pure Burre) allow me to describe it for you, in my own Dawn Ray
of Sunshine fashion. Before I begin, however, let me explain that I actually
like the class. And that’s big for me because I’m not exactly a fan of exercise
of any kind, truly. There is retail space in front of the studio, and they sell
athleisure clothing that is so popular these days. Leggings and tanks with cute
sayings like “Barre So Hard,”“J’Adore Barre,”“Eat, Sleep, Tuck, Repeat.”“Meet me at the Barre” and my personal favorite, “Belle of the Barre.” Now,
keep in mind I went to these classes in December before I even had surgery and
really liked them. And of course, I found those tanks annoyingly cute. Like a
Taylor Swift song that I didn’t want to like but kept singing loudly in the
car, and at work and at home, I didn’t want to like them, but they were so damn
cute I couldn’t help myself. And of course they didn’t fit me. But I
digress….
These classes
are intense. The Pure Barre motto is Lift, Tuck, Burn (LTB) and you do a
series of yoga, pilates, barre, ballet type exercise and really work your core,
arms and legs. The 55-minute class is filled with small movements (“tiny up,
tiny down”) that hurt like hell and make your muscles shake.In fact, they encourage you to “find your
shake,” and let’s be honest, the only time I’ve ever wanted to “find my shake”
was at Sonic. You start
each class with a warm up, which is honestly, one of the most challenging to
me. I start out strong, and then we get to planks.In what world are planks considered a warm
up? Anyway, I push through the warmup the best I can and then we get to the
weights. Very small weights, thank God. Remember, small motions, with isometric
holds in between. PAINFUL, but effective. Then we go to the barre. Ahh, the
barre. I never thought I would say anything positive about a bar(re), unless I
was sitting at one with a drink in my hand, but the barre is the centerpiece of
the entire 55-minute class. It’s where you work your legs, arms, core and seat
(they say seat rather than butt or some other term because as my friend Kelly
says, “they keep it classy.”) This is where you really lift, tuck, burn and
find the shake. Again, tiny movements to work these parts of your body—I’m
talking one inch – but it works and I’m sweating like I’ve just run a 10k
(okay, I’ve never fully run a 10K or even a 5K, but I have to imagine that I
would sweat a lot.) Once you feel
like you can’t LTB anymore, you move to the other leg and work that side. Then,
you grab your mat and do floor work up against the wall. You use the barre to
push up with your arms and you do these tiny torture movements with your legs.
Your legs and everything else feel like jelly, then the lights go dim, the
music changes to a softer, slower tempo and you move the mat to the floor. Thank
God!! You’re almost there… or so you think. It’s time for ab work. Hey, at
least you get to be on the floor. But I promise you, tucking and squeezing your
abs and seat aren’t exactly resting and winding down. The instructor is
encouraging, she always gives some shout outs to you, like “great form, Kelsey”
or “keep it up, Kim” or “one more change, ladies, this is where it really burns
but is totally worth it.” (and yes, she sounds exactly as you have imagined it your head.) Truthfully, I love to
hear her call my name, even if it is “great correction to your form, Dawn.” But
damn, they are all so nice and supportive. And tiny. They are all so tiny and
toned.
Finally, once
you have bridged and tucked and squeezed and lifted and you think you can’t do
it anymore, you get to roll over on your stomach and stretch. Best. Stretch.
Ever. And also a humbling stretch. I rolled over, did a cobra pose (thanks,
Google!) and saw my reflection in the mirror. (Did I mention there are mirrored
walls in this studio everywhere?) I was a mess. I looked awful-- flushed face,
sweaty hair, just a mess.
Now, I know
it may sound like I don’t like this class very much, but I actually do like it
a lot. I feel like I have accomplished something big after I leave. Nearly
every part of my body hurts, I look like a wreck—but it feels (dare I say)
good. I hurt afterwards and getting up the next day isn’t that easy, but it
gets easier. The Pure Barre Belles say you get more comfortable after 10
classes, so I’m looking forward to that.
I know I took
the long way around for this update, but I wanted to provide a little glimpse
into how my life has changed since this surgery, versus just talking about food. This is and
always has been about more than food for me. It's been about inactivity and frankly, being lazy.
I know I haven’t posted many pics
of me, so I decided to do that so you could see my progress. I’ve decided to
take these pics on the first of each month to make it easier to keep track.
August 23, 2016 Surgery Day
September 1, 2016 9 days post surgery
October 1, 2016 39 days post surgery
Even though I had a humbling (and sobering) look in the mirror last night at the barre, I'm making great progress. My next doctor's appointment is October 13 and I will consider that my official weigh-in 6 weeks (or so) post surgery. It should be noted that my home scale says I have lost a bit more than 30 pounds since surgery, and a bit more than 45 pounds since mid-July. I've got a long way to go, but I'm feeling better and looking better. Except for when I leave barre class, then I'm just a hot Southern mess.
