Surviving a Breakup: Dawn Ray of Sunshine Style

Rumor has it that Austin Nichols' reason for requesting a transfer from the University of Memphis is because he was dumped by his girlfriend. I'm sorry you got your heart broken, Austin, I truly am, but seriously??? We've all been dumped and it sucks. It's no fun. But suck it up, Buttercup, and deal with it. You are a very attractive, elite athlete and while she may be a cheerleader, she certainly isn't the only girl out there. Newsflash, you are 21 years old and in college!!! And frankly, you are a bit of a celebrity. Dating (or hooking up, or tindering, or whatever) is easy for you! It's not like you are a slightly overweight, comedic college girl who wasn't in a sorority who was always on the outside looking in (hmmmm, that sounds oddly familiar. A story for another time I suppose.)

I've certainly been dumped (we all have.) And IT SUCKS. And breaking up doesn't even have to be with an actual person to hurt. I recently left a job I held for 12 years (and I loved the work and the people there) and I have at times felt like we broke up (yes, I realize I am saying I feel like I broke up with an organization, but also with some of the people there.) I've gone through some mourning phases, just like a breakup.

I guess what I'm saying is this... breaking up sucks, but you have to suck it up and get over it. We've all had to do it at some point. And it isn't pretty. But since I've been through this a few times, I thought I would offer Austin some tips to handling a breakup- Dawn Ray of Sunshine style.


Do:

Eat your emotions: you have to mourn this breakup and loss somehow, and eating your emotions is definitely the way to go (but only for a short time.) Whatever your binge food is -- chips, ice cream, candy, whatever, just eat it. Do what it takes. No one will judge you if you only eat Doritos and ice cream for a week or so, I promise. It's understandable. (and sadly, I've done it.)

Drink your emotions: drinking dulls the pain, albeit temporarily. Maybe I'm not supposed to say that, but it does. Even for a short time. And while it can be dangerous, (that yummy goodness in alcohol (no matter your poison) walks a fine line of making you forget and then all of a sudden you remember) - no one will judge you if you drink a little too much and drown your sorrows. Just  make sure you have friends around that you trust who will take care of you. Please note, this may be better to do in the privacy and comfort of yours or a friend's home. If you're going to get sloppy, do it in private. You don't need any social media posts out there of you falling down, crying in your beer, or any other unsavory things to make this PR debacle worse for you.

Cleanse your palette: Date, tinder, flirt, whatever. You need to cleanse your palette. (just sayin'.) Need I remind you are are an attractive, 21-year-old athlete??

Work out: Dude, you are an elite athlete. An All-American contender, even. Don't let a girl stand in the way of your fitness and workout regimen. Put that energy to good use and work out. A LOT. Make her jealous and sorry. Remind her why she is an idiot for breaking up with you. Then, when she wants to come back, you can ignore her or turn her down. It is a glorious feeling.

Have a friend who is brutally honest:we all need that friend who will tell you like it is. That friend that will say "shut the F up already, I've heard enough." If you don't have one, get one. Hell, I will be that friend for you. I"m sure she's a lovely person, but you are better than her. It's not you, it's HER.

Have a friend that will listen: just like you need a friend who will tell you to shut the f up, you also need one who will tell you what you want to hear from time to time. Please note, this is probably going to be a girl. You need someone who will listen to you blubber on and on about the good times you both had and how sad you are. You need someone who will listen and not judge you when you talk about that romantic thing that happened that one time. Heck, this listener might even turn out to be a "palette cleanser" (just sayin'.)


Don't: 

Social Media stalk: sure, we've all done it, but it's just sad. DO, however, post fabulous and wonderful things (and pictures) about yourself to make sure she sees. I highly recommend you unfriend her right away. She will be abiding by this same rule of posting on the great things going on in her life-- her 30A bikini pics, fun nights with friends, etc. Trust me, I'm sure she may be upset too, but she won't post that. So Unfriend and Unfollow her NOW.

Just sit around: you can do that for about 3 days max, then you have to stop sitting around and channel your energy elsewhere. Since you are an athlete, I suggest working out. A LOT. You're a tall drink of water, Austin, a little more bulk will only make you a better NBA player when the time comes.

Make rash decisions: okay, maybe you've already done that with this transfer request. But Pastner hasn't actually granted the request yet, so you can technically still recant. (Please note, I am not saying you SHOULD or SHOULD NOT recant. I'm just saying that is an option.)

Let others speak for you: you are 21 years old. You have a voice. Use it. I know you respect your father and he only wants what's best for you, but you are setting a bad precedent letting him talk for you. This will not bode well in the NBA. Speak up. Be heard.

Come on, Austin, don't make a decision about your basketball career and ultimately your life based on a breakup. Don't let the fact that she is a cheerleader and you would see her at games as a constant reminder of the relationship that was deter you. Be a beast. Set your sights on the NBA and look past her cheerleader beauty and Palm Beach "tan.". Oh, and make her jealous, just like the e-card at the top says. Then, don't take her back. That's how adults handle break ups.