Big Ben: The Apology

I’ll be the first to admit, I don’t know much about the Ben Rothlisberger allegations. I’ve been preoccupied with this whole baby, pregnancy thing, and haven’t read or seen much about it. But I do know this: he should be punished if he did what the girl accused. I have read there is very little evidence so they couldn’t bring any legal charges against him, but still. He violated the NFL’s personal conduct policy and doesn’t the NFL have enough image problems right now with Michael Vick and others? The NFL suspended the Steelers quarterback for 6 games and he issued an apology to his fans, the Steelers, the NFL, his family, etc.


So, in typical Dawn Ray of Sunshine fashion, I have attempted to break down Big Ben’s statement for you in real language and tell you what he really means.



"The commissioner's decision to suspend me speaks clearly that more is expected of me. I am accountable for the consequences of my actions. Though I have committed no crime, I regret that I have fallen short of the values instilled in me by my family. I will not appeal the suspension and will comply with what is asked of me -- and more.

I was partying it up in Georgia and had a little too much to drink. This girl flirted with me -- I mean, who wouldn’t -- I’m a Super Bowl winning quarterback, and perhaps I took it a little too far. My mother is very disappointed in me. I’m not going to stir the pot and appeal the suspension. I’m lucky I got off with just that.

"Missing games will be devastating for me. I am sorry to let down my teammates and the entire Steelers fan base. I am disappointed that I have reached this point and will not put myself in this situation again.

Pittsburgh is a great place and Steelers fans are really hard core. I’ve been in trouble before and they looked the other way. I hope they do this time. I'm afraid if they don't, they will kick my a$$.  I am disappointed I got caught (I'm smarter than that!) and you can bet I will be more careful next time around.

"I appreciate the opportunities that I have been given in my life and will make the necessary improvements."

I’ve been given great opportunities and I will be more careful the next time I want to party and get some action from the ladies. I will be more discreet. Like Tiger Woods.

There you have it. Don't want to let anyone off the hook.

A letter to the newest Baby Ray...

Dearest Baby Ray, my sweet, unborn child-


As I am entering the final 3 weeks of my pregnancy with you, I find it fitting to write this letter to express how I am feeling in these final few days. I can’t wait to have your sweet, smiling face in our home and watch our family grow. I can’t wait to spend quiet time with you watch and you grow and learn new things. I can’t wait to watch you share tender moments with your father and have your big brother Tripp teach you all the cool stuff to do (and some that you shouldn’t do at all!) Those will be some of the happiest times of our lives, and my heart beams at the love you will bring into our already bursting-at-the-seams-with-love household. But there is one more thing, dear baby, which I have to share with you. I am begging you… please, please, please for the love of God, get off my bladder and stop hurting me.


You are a sweet angel, I am quite sure, but honestly, you are like an alien inside my belly right now. You constantly sit on my bladder. Your feet constantly poke me in the ribs. You are hungry all the time, even when I am not. You make my back hurt. You make my feet swell. You toss and turn like a Olympic gymnast. Frankly, I just want you out.


Not to be mean, dear, sweet little baby, but you will be more fun out than you are in. Your cries will sound like music to my ears, since my back and belly won’t be hurting much anymore. The nighttime feedings will be a treat since I won’t be hungry every hour. The changing 10 diapers a day will be a dream come true since my feet and fingers won’t be so swollen.

I am begging you, sweet angel baby, to come on out now and give your mama a little break. We can’t wait to meet you and shower you with love and kisses. Plus, I will be a lot less grumpy, even on very little sleep.



Much love,


Mom

Easter with the Rays

I realize it's a couple of weeks past Easter, but I've been busy with perfect brownies and the like. However, I did want to share some of our Easter pics, as well as tell a story about my little evangelist. First the pics...

Easter walk-thru at CMDS, Tripp got to put a flower on the cross.

Easter Egg Hunt at 2nd Pres. with Hayes, Harrison and Ivy

A bit of a crazy face from Tripp

Tripp and Mama Sue

At the fountain at church

I can't believe I put up a pregnancy photo

With the Easter Bunny at Windyke Easter Egg Hunt

Our Easter was fulled with lots of fun stuff, but perhaps the best of all was the song Tripp sang at the Windyke Easter Egg Hunt. Before the hunt got started, there was a little talent show for the kids while we were waiting for everyone to show up. The gentleman asked for kids to tell jokes or sing songs. Immediately, our little politician wanted the mic. Tripp knew several jokes so we thought he would go that route. But, he decided to sing a song. One that he made up, entitled, "Jesus Died on the Cross for Us." The gentleman picked a few other kids first and Tripp got a little upset, but then he was called to go on stage. He was ready.

He was handed the mic, and thus began his songwriting and singing debut.

                                            

                 Eyes are a little red from getting upset, but he was ready.

                                           

              Let the singing begin!!!

The song went a little something like this (sung with a melancholy tone to set the mood):

Jesus died on the cross for us

He died to save us

They took him away and

Put him on the cross

Guy with mic: "are you finished? that's great!"

Tripp: "No, I have more"

Jesus died on the cross for us

The soldiers took him away

He died for us

And put him on the cross

Guy with mic: "are you finished? Let's give a hand to Tripp!"
Tripp: "I'm not finished yet."

The soliders took him away

He died for us

They put him in a tomb

And he rolled away the stone

He lives for us!

Applause all around. Tripp was so proud of himself, and so were we. Everyone thought he was the cutest thing and while others were telling "why did the chicken cross the road jokes" our little evangelist was telling us the story of Easter.

Perfect Brownie Pan = Perfect Brownies

I've been talking about getting a perfect brownie pan for months. Well, friends, I am the lucky recipient of one, thanks to my co-workers (Thanks, Toni!)

Tripp and I decided to try it out and I thought I would blog about it. It is very easy to use, and I have photos to prove it. We used a simple Duncan Hines brownie mix (I think boxed brownies tend to be more moist and chewier than homemade) and they turned out simply delightful!

First, we mixed up the box of brownie mix with your requisite oil and eggs.

Then, Tripp poured into the brownie pan. (we added a few chocolate chips because I think there is no such thing as brownies that are too chocolate-y.)

Tripp stirred the chips into the pan.

Of course, Tripp had some of the batter. YUMMY! (and had to take a picture of himself!)

It was then time for the separator device. This nifty gadget ensures your brownies are the perfect size. (in my pan, I get 12 quite large brownies, YUM!)

Off into the oven they went, per the instructions, and voila! Perfect brownies!

I give the perfect brownie pan an A +++.

Grammar Pet Peeves

Yep, I've got 'em. They make me cringe. And I know this is tacky, but they make me judge you. I know some folks forgot their grammar as soon as they graduated high school, but I can't help it.

I have compiled a list of common grammar mistakes and pet peeves. Some of these are very common and I make them myself (I'm constantly looking things up so I won't make mistakes.) I hope it solves the grammar problems of the world. My high school English teacher, Ms. Warren, would be very proud.

Loose for lose


Incorrect: I always loose my car keys.

Correct: I always lose my car keys.

It's for its (or God forbid, its'):

Incorrect: Download the document, along with it's readme file.

Correct: Download the document, along with its readme file.

Incorrect: The laptop is overheating and its making that funny noise again.

Correct: The laptop is overheating and it's making that funny noise again.



“it’s” is a contraction of it and is. Also, “it’s” is possessive.



They're for their or there

Incorrect: The VPs are in they're weekly planning meeting.

Correct: The VPs are in their weekly planning meeting.

Incorrect: The techs have to check there cell phones at the door, and their not happy about it.

Correct: The techs have to check their cell phones at the door, and they're not happy about it.



“they’re” is a contraction of they are. “their” is possessive.



i.e. for e.g.

Incorrect: Use an anti-spyware program (i.e., Ad-Aware).

Correct: Use an anti-spyware program (e.g., Ad-Aware).



Note: The term i.e. means "that is"; e.g. means "for example". And a comma follows both of them.



Effect for affect

Incorrect: The outage shouldn't effect any users during work hours.

Correct: The outage shouldn't affect any users during work hours.

Correct: The outage shouldn't have any effect on users.

Correct: We will effect several changes during the downtime.



You're for your

Incorrect: Remember to clean you're dishwasher on a regular basis.

Correct: Remember to clean your dishwasher on a regular basis.

Incorrect: Your right about the changes.

Correct: You're right about the changes.



“you’re” is a contraction for you are. “your” is possessive.



Lay for lie

Incorrect: I got dizzy and had to lay down.

Correct: I got dizzy and had to lie down.

Correct: Just lay those books over there.



A person lies down, buy lays objects down.



Then for than

Incorrect: The accounting department had more layoffs then we did.

Correct: The accounting department had more layoffs than we did.



Incorrect: If this is true, than I'm a fool.

Incorrect: I am more of a fool then you are.

Correct: If this is true, then I'm a fool.

Correct: I am more of a fool than you are.





Could of, would of for could have, would have

Incorrect: I could of installed that app by mistake.

Correct: I could have installed that app by mistake.

Incorrect: I would of sent you a meeting notice, but you were out of town.

Correct: I would have sent you a meeting notice, but you were out of town.



Writing `cannot' as two words

Incorrect: I can not decide.

Correct: I cannot decide.



Using `if' when you should use `whether'

Incorrect: I do not know if this is true.

Correct: I do not know whether this is true.

Correct: If this is true, then the moon is made of cheese.



Gender-neutral pronouns at the expense of grammar.

Incorrect: If someone did say that, then they were lying.

Correct: Anyone who did say that was lying.

Correct: All those who did say that were lying.



Dawn Ray Grammar Pet Peeves



When a sentence construction begins with if, you don't need a then. “Then” is implicit, so the sentence becomes too wordy.

Incorrect: If you can't get Windows to boot, then you'll need to call Ted.

Correct: If you can't get Windows to boot, you'll need to call Ted.



Using an unnecessary “that” in writing. For the most part, you don’t need “that.” Try reading your sentence and leaving out “that.” Chances are you won’t need the word.

Incorrect: It was evident that he had a drinking problem.

Correct: It was evident he had a drinking problem.



Using over instead of more than. Over is a spatial term. More than connotes quantity. (It is important to note that people say “over 500 hotels” in common everyday language, but it is grammatically incorrect.)

Incorrect: Hilton Garden Inn has over 500 hotels open.

Correct: Hilton Garden Inn has more than 500 hotels open.



Using “I” instead of “me.” Many people fall victim to this grammatical error, thinking they are choosing the appropriate word, but instead, choose the wrong word. When in doubt of which one to use, take out the first word before “and” and read the sentence again.

Incorrect: The only people waiting in line were Toni and I.

Correct: The only people waiting in line were Toni and me.

(if you follow my rule, you will see this is correct. The only person waiting in line was me (not I).



Incorrect: Roxane and me went to the store to buy cookies for Sandra’s birthday.

Correct: Roxane and I went to the store to buy cookies for Sandra’s birthday.

(if you follow my rule, you will see this is correct. It would read: I went to the store to buy cookies for Sandra’s birthday.)



Using wait on for wait for. The phrase wait on should be used only when referring to serving someone or something.

Incorrect: We waited on our guests to arrive.

Correct: The server waited on the customers in the restaurant.

Correct: We waited for our guests to arrive.



Who vs. That: that is a pronoun and is often mistakenly used in place of who. When the noun to which you are referring is a person, always use who. If, however, you are not referring to a person, then the appropriate pronoun to use is that.



Incorrect: The waitress that served me was very rude. (In this sentence, that is referring to a real person–the waitress–so who should have been used instead.)

Correct: The waitress who served me was very rude.

Correct: The car that is parked in the street belongs to me. (That is correctly used because a car is not a person. Who would, of course, have been incorrect if used in this sentence.)

Baby Update

Since I'm a bit sick of writing about Tiger Woods, I thought I would give a baby update. I went to the doctor today (had a bit of a crying breakdown, but that's normal for a 34-week pregnant woman) and everything is great. My blood pressure is spot on; the baby's heartbeat is great. Everything is going well.

I'm swelling a bit now and my toes, feet and fingers go numb, but that's all normal. We have a tentative delivery date of Monday, May 17th!

The time keeps ticking on by. Let's hope it ticks a little faster.

Bizarre, Weird, Creepy, Genius?

I am talking about the new Nike ad featuring Tiger Woods and his late father, Earl. Some advertising folks have called it creepy. Others have called it genius. I think it is questionable, at best.

Usually, I think Nike is at the pinnacle of marketing and advertising. From their first "revolution" shoe ad in the late 80's, they have been the benchmark for branding and image advertising. They've given us "Bo knows." They've given us "Little Penny" (as in Hardaway.) They've given us targeted ads for women's running. For soccer. For football. For baseball. They have carved their way into advertising genius. That is, until now.

I think this spot is weird. I don't necessarily think it is creepy, but I think it is in poor taste. Granted, Nike has made the decision to stick with Tiger. And he has been a huge part of their marketing and advertising dollars since he signed with them when he turned pro. I've even been on the Nike campus and been to the Tiger Woods center. Putting my dislike for him aside, the center is actually pretty cool (just wish it wasn't all about him.) So I understand their decision to stand behind Tiger and keep him on. But I really think this ad misses the mark.

I know what they are trying to creatively execute. They want to show you that his dad would be disappointed in him and his actions of late (well, the last few years, but I digress.) They show Tiger standing there awkwardly, as if being scolded by his dad. It is Tiger's attempt to show remorse in a :30 spot. "I want to find out what your thinking was... what your feelings are? Did you learn anything?"

But here, in my opinion, is where it falls short.You see, his late father was no saint. In fact, it seems to be where Tiger learned his philandering ways. I mean, the man pushed his son from birth to be the best golfer in the world. Granted, he is a good golfer but one has to wonder, was it worth it? If his dad were alive today, would he be proud of the man his son has become? Of course as parents, you always love your children and are proud of them (to a degree) no matter what bad things they do, but would he stand up and say "my son's a fine citizen?" I don't think so.

On the flip side, Nike is certaily accomplishing it's "buzz" goal. And since I'm a PR person, I have to appreciate that. This ad is being posted on Facebook, You Tube, and has had countless media coverage-- from CNN, to CBS News, to USA Today. Regardless of the creative execution, Nike is succeeding with generating buzz for this spot.

Taming the Tiger: Breaking Down the Tiger Woods Press Conference

Friends, I hope you have anxiously awaited the Tiger Woods press conference breakdown. In Dawn Ray of Sunshine fashion, I will break it down for the non-PR folks so you will know what Tiger really meant.

Tiger sat in front of a Masters green backdrop looking very "golf like" in a striped Nike shirt (of course, gotta give props to the one sponsor who didn't drop him.) He began the press conference with a few statements before taking questions. I've gotta hand it to him, he answered nearly every question thrown his way (although, I think some of the questions could have been a little more critical of him and hard-hitting.)

“Coming into today, I didn't know what to expect with regards to the reception, and I tell you what, the galleries couldn't be nicer. I mean, it was just incredible. The encouragement that I got, it was just -- it blew me away to be honest with you, it really did. And the people here over the years, I know they are extremely respectful, but today was just something that really touched my heart pretty good.”
Translation: I was completely blown away – but a different “blown” away from the last few months if you get my drift. The fans have been great and cheered for me. I was really touched. And I haven’t been touched physically in a while. Oh wait, wrong “touched.”


“I know that the players over the past few months have been bombarded with questions by all of you and the public, as well, and I would like to tell all of the players, hopefully after today, after answering questions at this press conference, the players can be left alone to focus on the Masters and focus on their game, not only for this week, but going forward, as well. And certainly apologize to all of them for having to endure what they have had to endure the past few months.”
Translation: I have to apologize first. It’s what the PGA golfers expect. If I don’t, they won’t ever speak to me anymore. Who knew I would make their lives chaotic, too? I did. I have that much power.


“A lot has happened in my life over the past five months, and I'm here at the Masters to play and compete. And just really excited about doing that. I missed the competition. I missed seeing the guys out here. A lot of my friends, I haven't seen in a while. It was great to play golf again with Freddie and Jim, two of my best friends out here, and I played with Mark yesterday for nine holes and I'm playing with him again tomorrow, as well as Steve Stricker. So it's been just an incredible experience so far here at the Masters.”

Translation: I’m finally ready to face the media because I have to in order to play in the Masters. And my ego is big enough that I really think I can win this thing. I haven’t had sex since November, so I’ve got a lot of pent up frustration. I’m going to take it out on that little white ball on golf’s biggest stage. I missed the competition. I missed beating the hell out of these guys. I’m Tiger freaking Woods, for God’s sakes.


After his opening statement, he was asked some questions by reporters (supposedly there were no restrictions.) Here’s how he answered some of them.

Q. What's been the most difficult thing for you to deal with these past few months, and how have you dealt with it?

TIGER WOODS: Well, probably two things. I think one being -- having to look at myself in a light that I never wanted to look at myself; that was difficult. How far astray I got from my core fundamentals and the core morals that my mom and dad taught me; and having to break all that down, and as I said in the interview, with all of the denial and rationalization; to cut through that, I had to really take a hard look at myself. And that's what I started finding strength and peace.

And the other is the -- the other difficult part I think over the past few months has just been the constant harassment to my family. My wife and kids being photographed everywhere they go; being badgered, that's tough. That's tough on them, because it's really hard for us to heal and try and get through this as best we can.

Translation: The most difficult thing? It has to be a tie: first, having to give up my lifestyle and not sleeping with anymore skanky women. Ahh, that was the life. Man, I had it made. The other would be getting caught. I mean, seriously, I had the life. Money, women, sex, Ambien…a beautiful wife at home. Everyone in the world thinking I was a golf God; that I could do no wrong. Then those stupid skanks had to mess it all up.

I also hate that my wife and family have been harassed. Boy, nothing gets Elin crankier than having to fight paparazzi to go to take my daughter to school. At this rate, I will never get any from her again.

Q. What were you anticipating today to be like for you and how nervous are you sitting here?

TIGER WOODS: Sitting here, not that nervous, no. As far as getting out there, I was definitely more nervous. That first tee, I didn't know what to expect, I really didn't, Steve. It's one of those things where I've never been in this position before. To be out there in front of the people where I have done some things that are just horrible, and you know, for the fans to really want to see me play golf again, I mean, that felt great, that really did. Usually I kind of focus on placements of shots and getting ready, but today was a little bit different. I kind of took it in a little bit more, sort of more than I think I have in a long time, and it felt really good.

Translation: I’m not nervous at all. Not compared to that time when Elin found those text messages and voice mails from all my mistresses. Boy, that was nerve-wracking. I thought she might go all “Lorena Bobbitt” on me. Thank God she only hit me with a golf club.

Q. You said you felt entitled to what you were doing before, at the same time how were you able to rationalize that in your mind while it was going on?

TIGER WOODS: Well, that's part of the problem I had, is the way I was thinking was not correct. And as part of where I was at, I was rationalizing and denying and in total denial at times. Whatever I did, I lied to myself, I lied to others, and just because I said -- just because I was winning golf tournaments doesn't mean a thing. The way I was thinking caused so much harm with the people that I love and care about the most on this planet.

Q. Did you only realize that after it became public?

TIGER WOODS: After I started going to treatment, that's when they started stripping all of that away from you.

Translation: Yeah, I was entitled. I am Tiger Freakin' Woods. I can do whatever I want with no consequences. I didn’t care until it all became public. I rationalized it any way I wanted. As long as Elin didn’t know, I was on top of the world. And on top of A LOT of women.
Q. Will Elin and the kids be joining you this week at the Masters, and if not, is that a sign that she's not ready to support you yet and should you be making this return so soon to the game?
TIGER WOODS: Elin is not coming this week, no,

Translation: Are you crazy? She will hardly talk to me. She certainly won’t parade around on golf’s biggest stage, having the media follow her every move and having you guys analyze her every facial expression. Besides, she only talks to me when she has to. And, she’s holding out for a big ass diamond. Then maybe she will be with me at a tournament. Maybe. Of course, if she's with me, I can't get as many women, so you know, I'd rather her stay with the kids.

Q. Will you keep your time, your management team intact, and how much did they actually know about everything that was going on?

TIGER WOODS: Well, I certainly have everyone around me. I've lied and deceived a lot of people and a lot of people didn't know what I was doing, either. So I've had, again, a tremendous amount of support, as well, from others on the outside, and it's been a difficult time, but also I'm actually surprised how much support I've gotten, as well.

Translation: They knew everything. I pay them well. I even increased their pay so Elin wouldn’t find out.

Q. After what you've been through in the last five months, what do you think some of your thoughts are going to be on the Thursday on the tee, and how tough is it to come back from the ACL?

TIGER WOODS: That first tee, I'm looking forward to it. I haven't looked forward to that tee shot in a long time, not like this. It feels fun again. You know, that's something that's been missing. Have I been winning, have I been competing, have I been doing well? Yeah, I have. I've won numerous times the last few years but I wasn't having anywhere near the amount of fun. Why? Because look at what I was engaged in. When you live a life where you're lying all the time, life is not fun. And that's where I was. Now that's been stripped all away and here I am. And it feels fun again.

Translation: I’m ready for everyone to focus on my golfing talent and not my sexual relationships and addiction. I’m finally ready to have fun at golf. It’s all I have now. I can’t have fun with the skanks anymore. No woman will every sleep with me again. I’ll be lucky if Elin ever touches me again. As far as the ACL, all of this shit is much worse than that.

So there you have it, friends. Tiger speaks to the media, with no restrictions. He didn't do a bad job, but I bet he was coached so heavily by his PR folks. Hopefully this will be the last of the dreaded Tiger ticker.
 
Now, on to more important stuff, like the men's NCAA championship game and baseball season. We're due a break from Tiger, don't you think?

Tender Moments….. From BOB HUGGINS?????

Yes, that’s right. Probably two phrases I never thought I would ever say in reference to each other. But if you watched the Men’s Final Four game on Saturday night between Duke and West Virginia, you know what I mean.

Of course, I am a bit biased. I have adopted WVU senior Da’Sean Butler as my favorite “non-Memphis Tiger” basketball player and he has certainly not disappointed. Butler is an exceptional student and a mature, smart basketball player. (God help me if he disappoints and ever gets into any serious troubles--say with hookers.) He is active in the community and has helped bring West Virginia to the national prominence it experienced in the 50s when Jerry West (“The logo”) played as a Mountaineer. Butler has scored 2,095 points becoming the 3rd highest scorer in WVU history. Even if you hate Huggins, you gotta love that.



So when he came down hard on a play involving Duke’s big man Brian Zoubek, buckling his knee with 8 minutes left in the game, my heart sank. He was writhing in pain. He was beating the floor with his hands. He was in tears. I am sure he was hurt, but I am betting he felt he had let his team down. WVU had the game within 5 points at one time, but Duke just outplayed them. Being the leader that he is, Butler likely felt defeated. He likely felt he had let his team down. So many times before, he had been Mr. Clutch, always there when his team and state depended on him. He likely knew it was over.



Then, it happened. After immediately yelling at the refs for the call, Coach Huggins makes his way to his player, the team leader, and displays one of the most touching and tender moments I have ever seen in sports. He kneels down over him, cradling his face, and talks to him like a father to a son. One can only imagine what he said, but he was trying to calm Butler down. Reassuring him, comforting him, being compassionate. He spoke nose to nose with Butler. It was a scene etched into my brain forever.

And all of this from Bob Huggins. A man with a shady past in college basketball, a very public DUI, a “resignation” from Cincinnati after the university’s president called for him to be fired. A coach who went for years with a 0.0 percent graduation rate (sound familiar Tiger fans? Remember the Dana Kirk days?) A man who recruited hard hitting thugs to his basketball program. A coach who yells obscenities at his players and doesn’t really display one gentle bone in his body.

I was shocked. I was in disbelief. I was touched. Coach Huggins and another WVU player helped Butler off the court. And you know the rest of the story. The Duke Blue Devils went on to beat the Mountaineers by 21 points, securing their place in the championship game with underdog Butler University.

It was announced yesterday Da’Sean Butler suffered an ACL injury, now with his NBA career somewhat questionable. But he will also be one of the best players to ever play the game in my mind.