Plan B

Last week I was at a very enjoyable dinner (one of the most enjoyable dinner with coworkers in recent memory) during a work trip and the subject of a Plan B came up. Now, I'm not talking about your contingency plan for if your work goes through layoffs and transformation, or even your plan B if something doesn't go the way you expected with a work project. Hell, I'm not even talking about what Plan B would be if you ordered the chicken special for dinner and they didn't have it anymore.

I'm talking about what your Plan B is if your current life situation doesn't work out. Please allow me to elaborate...

I'm at this dinner with some very good and very funny company. I'm not exactly sure how it came up, but someone at the dinner professed they had found their Plan B if their marriage didn't work out. (Please note I am using incorrect grammar instead of the proper pronouns-- he/she, his/her etc.) This dinner companion said they had their Plan B all picked out in form of a same sex life partner. It was funny, because this person is not gay and is in a heterosexual marriage.

That spurred the conversation of someone else (another of my co workers) talking about Plan B and I am sorry to say that I wasn't anyone's Plan B. I was, in a word, devastated. Here I am, thinking I am charming and funny, and none of my coworkers has picked me as their same sex life partner Plan B.

Now, it may sound trivial, but I was a tad hurt. I think I'm the total package: okay-looking, funny, witty, smart. Apparently not enough for my co workers to consider me their Plan B. Of course, I am a heterosexual woman, with a fantastic husband and two beautiful children. I don't really think I need a Plan B. But it would be nice to know I was someone's Plan B. I'm just sayin'...

Random Posts from Dawn

So sorry it's been a while since I posted. Seems life has been nutty lately with travel, baby, JK politician, a beach trip for the family, work, boxing up house stuff and the list goes on...

1. work travel: I've been back to work about 6 weeks and have gone on 3 trips. All were enjoyable, but did keep me away from the charming Zane, my JK politician and my very supportive and loving husband. I did get to go to a Mets game while in NYC and we were treated like total rock stars (guess purchasing in-stadium advertising will get you far in life.) Had yummy burger and shake there, along with fantastic seats behind home plate. Okay, so the Mets stunk it up this year, but it was so fun to check another stadium off my list.

2. Zane: that charming baby is stealing my heart more and more every day. He cackles out lous and has an infatuation with Daddy. He looks at Tripp like he is the funniest thing in the world. He began to eat rice cereal and fruit and the first time we gave it to him, he threw it up. And I mean THREW. IT. UP. Don't worry, I got it on video.

3. JK Politician: Tripp just keeps on campaigning for US President in 2044. He loves his teachers (Ms. Abercrombie and Ms. Guess) and seems to love JK at CMDS.

4. Beach trip: I had to travel to Orange Beach, AL for a work trip, so the boys, Tom and Mama Sue drove down to meet me for a mini vacation. The Gulf Coast is open for business and is absolutely beautiful! The weather was nice-- still warm but not so freakin' HOT -- and we stayed in a beautiful condo with a lazy river, pool and slide. The pool was freaking cold. The lazy river was cold, but the pool was FREEZING. We still had a fantastic time! :)

5. Work: boy, work has been absolutely insane. My boss left for a big fancy job in DC at the Hilton HQ (in July) and we've been without a boss for a bit. It has afforded me the opportunity to do some cool things and be a part of some great meetings in his absence, but we are CRAZY BUSY! We also have a new interim boss that we are still learning. As you know, everyone works differently and likes things a certain  way, and we are adapting to it.

6. More work travel: getting ready to go to Orlando for 5 days, then to VA for 4 days. Then some international travel is likely.

7. House stuff: we've talked about it for years, now we are going to do it. We began boxing some stuff up to put our house on the market. It will likely take a long time to sell, but perhaps I will bury a statue in the front yard or whatever it is folks do to see their house quickly.

I'm sure there is more to post, but I can't think of it all right now.

What if...

What if we all acted like Brett Favre? What if every year we waffled with a decision to retire? What if we decided to miss the prep meetings and hours of work, only to show up for the big meeting and take all the glory?

I'll tell you what... people would get pissed. Really pissed. And no work would get done. And no one would want to work with you because you didn't want to put in the time for the team. Really, that's all Favre is doing. I personally think he feels he is too good to go to preseason camp and sweat his ass off in practice. I think he feels he's been playing in the NFL for 20 years and doesn't have to do all of that anymore. Well, #4, in my opinion, you are dead wrong.

Brett, you are a talented player, one of the best quarterbacks the game has evern seen. You will certainly be a Hall of Famer, when you ever decide to retire and become eligible. But let me tell you, Grandpa, you keep making PR mistakes that are costing you your fans. Sure, Minnesota fans love you.... you almost took them to the Super Bowl. But need I remind you that you alienated an entire state, yes state, because everyone in Wisconsin is a Packer fan, the remainder of the Packer Nation, as well as New York Jets fans? How does that feel?

You could have handled your departure from the Packers much better.  Just retire with decency and move along living it up in Hattiesburg. But no, you had to go play for the Jets. Then retire. Again.

Then, you betrayed all of Packer Nation by becoming a part of their rivals, the Vikings. You had one of your best years ever and almost took them to the Super Bowl. The last we saw of you, you were really hurting physically and mentally. And the questions began... will he retire? Will he stay a Viking? Will he go somewhere else? Will he enjoy being a new grandfather? The Favre Watch began.

And in your typical fashion, you decided to waffle and come back one last time. It took some of your teammates coming down to Hattiesburg (gees, what is it with that town of late? Tiger goes there to sex rehab then the media circus of Favre. It must be a happening place) to get you to come back. Now, you say you were hurt and had surgery on your ankle. I believe you. I'm sure it hurt. But I also believe your ego and pride were more hurt than your ankle. I'm thinking you couldn't believe you didn't beat New Orleans, of all teams, to go to the Super Bowl. Even after your record breaking year. Then all hell froze over when the Saints actually won the Super Bowl. The great QB couldn't go back after that. Everyone would remember that game. So you waffled, as you have been prone to do these last few years, and even caused ESPN to create the Favre ticker, much to my chagrin. Your ego made you sit out the summer and wonder if you were coming back. Are you really that much of a baby? Do you really need the attention? Did you really need some of your teammates to come down to Hattiesburg to ask you to rejoin the team?

You finally gave the world your answer yesterday and surprise!!!! You are coming back to the NFL. Again. You missed the preseason practices and camps. Way to be a team player.

Now, I really don't care either way. I'm neither a Favre lover or hater. I certainly didn't have anything against him and won't deny that he is a spectacular football player. But come on, Brett, your ego is getting to be as big as LeBron's and Tiger's. And that's not good company to keep.

Another Memphis Son Lost

I, like many Memphians and Tiger fans, prayed he would turn up. Prayed that he decided to take some time off to think. Prayed that maybe he was on a beach somewhere figuring out his newly single life. Prayed that he maybe took off to Israel to try out for a basketball team there and surprise his family with the news that he made it. Now we are praying for his family and six children who no longer have a father.

It is such a sad, tragic end to a very promising career for a true Memphian and Memphis Tiger. Lorenzen Wright was a star at Booker T. Washington High School. He was a star at the University of Memphis and a star at the Memphis Grizzlies. He was loved by Tiger fans. He was loved by Memphians. He was loved by the African-American community. He was loved by the Caucasian community.  Now he is gone. And we all grieve...together.

Lorenzen beat the odds. His father was paralyzed when he was shot breaking up a fight at a community center. He coached Lorenzen from a wheelchair making him a star at BTW. He played at the U of M, endearing himself to Tiger fans as a hometown kid who had made it. He was drafted into the NBA in 1996, eventually returning home to Memphis to play for the Grizzlies. He had made it. He had beat the odds. He didn't face the reality that so many young African-American men face not only in Memphis, but in America today. He wasn't shot. He didn't succumb to the violence that often plagues young African-American men. He didn't fall prey to drugs (that we know of.) He was living his dream in the NBA.

We all grieved with him when his 11-month-old baby girl died. We hoped he could feel the prayers and the arms of the city reaching around his family to comfort him. When we learned he was missing, we began to pray for him and his family again. Reaching our arms out to him and his family to keep them safe.

He had fallen on some hard times. He wasn't playing in the NBA anymore. He was newly single. He was away from his kids. He was apparently having financial troubles. He needed our prayers and support, but we didn't know about it until it was too late.

Today, as Tiger fans and as Memphians, we grieve the loss of Lorenzen Wright. We pray for his parents, his six children and his family. But let's also pray for other young basketball stars -- and other young men, of all races -- so they won't meet the same fate as Lorenzen Wright. Let's also pray they will figure out who did this to Memphis' son and that they be brought to justice.

Hair Envy

I have major hair envy. I see someone's hair and I want it. I must have it. I will do anything to get it. I think it's because I went for a very long time and didn't do anything with my hair. After I got married, I cut it off (that's what brides do, right?) Anyway, then I let it grow, just to see if I could. I kept it in a pony tail most of the time, so I decided to cut it off again, and I loved it. Then I got bangs because I saw someone with great bangs, and then I hated them. Then I decided to cut it shorter, because I saw someone with short hair and I liked it. For a bit. Then right before Zane was born, I decided to get it even shorter. I went to someone new (I don't have an allegiance to any hair dresser) and I did not like what she did. At all.

So, it's been 11 weeks since I got it cut and it has grown out a little (it's still short of course) and I can't decide if I should grow it into a bob like I had before (and I liked) or if I should keep it shorter (which I also liked.) I really need to make up my mind.

I really wish my hair envy would go away. It bother me.

So I guess it IS Rocket Science

I am little late posting this, but Tom and I took the Politician on a little weekend trip over July 4th weekend. We decided to leave little man with Mama Sue so the Politician could spend some quality time with mom and dad. We drove to Huntsville, AL on Friday and were lucky enough to get a very nice rate at the Hilton Garden Inn right at the US Space and Rocket Center.

The first night we were there, we went to see the Huntsville Stars play the Chattanooga Lookouts. We are baseball people and we love to go to different baseball stadiums and leagues. Hunstville has a AA team and it was a lot of fun.  We go to the Memphis Redbirds games a lot and AAA is darn close to the Majors. AA and A, not so much. But it is good, cheap family entertainment. Beer is $2 cheaper, burgers and hot dogs are cheaper. The baseball is pretty good and we had a lot of fun. Their mascot was a pole cat, which is kinda like a skunk but the placement of the stripe on the tail is different.

The next day, it was off to the US Space & Rocket Center. They had recently opened a Star Wars exhibit, featuring all of the costumes, models and other props from the Star Wars movies. The exhibit was very cool (even though we were contributing to George Lucas' fortune.) Tripp and Tom both enjoyed it very much. Okay, so did I. They even had roaming storm troopers and Darth Vadar walking around and trust me, they were really great costumes, like movie-grade costumes.

Then, it was off to see the Rockets and learn all about our journey to the moon. That, my friends, was super-cool! They had an entire full size rocket hung over your heard, broken into pieces, with lots of memorabilia from NASA. There were space suits, rocket pieces, and lots of other cool stuff. The kids could get in a few of the pieces and see what it is like to be an astronaut. It was very cool and I highly recommend you go if you are looking for a quick weekend trip!

Then we headed back to our hotel and swam a bit in the pool. That evening, we went to a nice dinner and went to an outdoor mall (correct term is lifestyle center) and walked around. They had balloon artists, magicians and face painters who worked for tips. We enjoyed some great people watching and ice cream and Tripp got a cool dragon painted on his face.

We had a really great time, but were ready to get home and see the little man. Of course, he had a great time at Mama Sue's. I'm not sure she even  put him down all weekend!

What is the advertising world coming to?

So I am very bothered by the Kia Soul commerecial with the "street" hampsters driving the Kia Soul. Very odd. If you haven't seen it, let me paint you a picture...

The song is "The Choice is Yours" by Black Sheep (the "you can get with this; you can get with that" song.) These hampsters are rolling in their Kia Souls, wearing hoodies and other clothing young kids and college students wear today. Now, I realize I am not in Kia's demographic for this car, but I'm not sure I get it. It leads to many questions, and I would like answers...

1. Are hampsters the new "in" thing, like the puppies Hollywood socialites carry in their purses?
2. Is the car only big enough for hampsters? (stole that one from my husband)
3. Why are they human-sized?
3. Why Black Sheep?  (am guessing the significance of the song is that you can choose from all sorts of "box-type" cars out there -- the Nissan Cube and the Scion -- but the Soul is the best choice (hence, the line is the song, "this is where it's at.)

Seriously, I wish I could have been in the board room where the agency sold this concept to the marketing VP. Did the conversation go something like this???

Agency: "Okay, imagine it. There are human-sized hampsters rolling uu, dressed like your typical colllege student."
Client: "Why hampsters?"
Agency: "our research shows hampsters test very favorably among 18-25 year old males, your core target audience."
Client: : "SOLD"

I'm not really sure I get it, but I think the agency has succeeded at doing their job. After all, I remembereed the commercial, can recall the type of car and I am blogging about it. That's really what marketing is all about

Stupidity, Thy Name is Mel Gibson

What happened to Mel Gibson? He used to be a bona fide movie star and family man. We loved him in the Lethal Weapon movies (remember "I'm too old for this sh*t?") Heck, he was even People's "Sexiest Man Alive" in 1985. He made women swoon and men pound their chest as William Wallace in Braveheart (still one of mine and Tom's all time favorite movies.) He was from a foreign land, had gorgeous hair (hey, mulletts were hot then) and beautiful blue eyes. He was gorgeous and every woman wanted him. But seriously, he has now gone insane.

Either he was crazy all along and had a good publicist, or he has just gone ape sh*t. First there was the controversy over "The Passion of the Christ," which I thought was an excellent movie and the controversy was blown out of proportion. Then, he was arrested for drinking and driving and saying some very off color remarks to a polic officer. Inexcusable. So I began to think, "ok, maybe he is a little crazy." Then he left his wife of 100 years and his 500 children (ok, exaggeration) to be with this hot, young, chippy. Of course, he added to his brood and had another child with her.

Now we are listening to these secretly recorded audio tapes where he is berating Oksana, his lovely young chippy, for dressing provacatively and that she will be raped by words I will not use. Seriously, Mel, WTF? You had Hollywood and the entire world in your back pocket. You were a superstar, a brilliant director and actor. Have you gone mad?

Of course, I think it is weird that she is taping their phone conversations. And I also think it is weird he sounds so strange on the line and she sounds like she is speaking into a microphone, but I am no sound expert.

Anyway, I just think Mel has lost his marbles. I'm just sayin'.

I Was Born in a Small Town

If you know me, you know I was born in Halls, TN, population (around) 2,000, one stop light, one grocery story, one drug store. No Sonic.  A small town by any standards. I try to get back to see my mom some, but it keeps getting harder and harder to get there with 2 kids, working full time, keeping up with the preschool politician’s busy schedule, etc. (The politician makes it back fairly often to spend time with Mama Sue.)


Recently, I went to visit Mama Sue, with baby Zane in tow. The politician was already there and we got there on a Thursday morning. I decided to reconnect with a friend I have known for 30 years and she came to visit. She lives in Halls with her 3 boys and husband and I thought it would be nice to reconnect. She invited me and Tripp over to her mom’s house to swim the next day (her mom was my kindergarten teacher.) (For all who may know, I am talking about Lori Booker Wilson.)

Tripp and I arrived at the pool that day around lunch time and he had such a great time swimming with Lori’s son, Sam. It was surreal, however, sitting there with someone I have known for 30 years and watching our children play together. Swimming in the same pool I had swam in for many summers. Jumping off the same diving board.

Sitting on that deck, there in the hot summer sun, it was hard to believe that we were watching our children do the same things we used to do. We caught up on our lives (what we didn’t know through Facebook, that is) and she caught me up on all of the Halls gossip.

As I tried to go to sleep that night in my childhood bedroom, I thought about the allure of a small town and why people stay there after high school, go back there after being gone, or just move there altogether. There are certainly some great things about living in a small town: you know your kid’s teachers (and not just by being introduced to them on the first day of school), you run into people you know at the grocery store, your kids can walk home from school or to ball practice or to the store for an ice cream cone.

But me, I’m just not a small town girl anymore. Of course, some would argue that Memphis is hardly a big city, but I guess it is big enough for me. I sometimes see folks I know at the grocery store, but not usually. (Sometimes I’m just not in a talkative mood when I am in the cereal isle, and that really isn’t an option when you live in a small town. You have to talk. It’s just rude if you don’t.) I enjoy the plethora of things available to me and my family for recreation: movies, museums, a larger church, AAA baseball, U of M basketball and football, concerts. (not to say you don’ t get these things when you live in a small town, but they aren’t as easy to get to.)

Lately I’ve been feeling pretty nostalgic about my childhood and the friends I knew back then. I don’t really keep up with them anymore (except for Facebook.) I didn’t go to my high school reunion and never will. I’m not sure why I lost touch with all of them, but I do miss them. We all had some pretty fun times and some not-so-fun times. All of our experiences shaped who we are, for better or worse. Maybe I am running away from what I was back then. I was so insecure and had such low self esteem. I don't want to be that person ever again. I don't think I really figured out who I was until I got married and settled in my life.

Small towns remind me of the person I used to be, and I don't like that person. I never did. I can certainly see the allure of a small town, but I think I’ll stick with the suburbs. For my own good, if nothing else.

Worst. Breakup. Ever.

I’ve been through tough breakups before. We all have (unless you are one of those freaks who have never been dumped… that’s just not natural.) They’re not pretty. I’ve had a few bad ones myself. My high school boyfriend and I broke up 3 times. The first time, he broke up with me. I was devastated, depressed. Everything a 15 year old girl would be when she was dumped. After all, he broke up with me three weeks before Valentine’s Day. We got back together after a few weeks, then it was my turn to dump him. I think he took it better than me, but we ended up getting back together again, much to my parents’ chagrin. It lasted a few more months and then we both broke up with each other. Neither of us handled it well.

As an adult, I have had a few breakups and some went better than others. One was amicable and we are still friends to this day. The other, not so much. I was dumped and I decided to drown my sorrows (don’t we all?) I drowned my sorrows in an entire bottle of Gossamer Bay Zinfandel and boy did I pay for it. (Bear in mind I wasn’t a wine drinker then but I sure did guzzle that $6 bottle of wine.) It ended very badly. Of course, I drunk dialed and that led to me going to his house, becoming belligerent, yelling at him and then throwing up. A lot. At least I didn’t throw up on him. That was the last time I talked to him so I am quite sure he has a horrible lasting impression of me.


All in all, breakups are just bad. I’ve heard of breakups where car doors are keyed, houses are rolled with toiler paper, even baseball bats are taken to cars and their windshields. Now with Facebook and Twitter, it is bound to get even uglier. But never before have I seen the scorned burning jerseys in the streets. But then again, never before have a seen a breakup any worse than the one between LeBron James and the city of Cleveland.

Poor Cleveland Cavs fans. They now feel like that dumped, 15 year old slightly chubby girl sitting in her room listening to the radio relating every song to her breakup and her broken teenage love affair. I was that girl and I feel for them.



LeBron handled himself so poorly during this entire free agent process. At first, I didn’t blame him. I blamed the media for putting him on this pedestal. I even blogged about it. But now, I have changed my mind. LeBron acted like a spoiled, little rich kid, the self-proclaimed King, showing no regard for the city that has been with him, stood by him, and built an entire team around him. A city that lived and breathed LeBron and basketball. But no more.


When I first heard ESPN was holding a one-hour special entitled “The Decision,” I thought, at least he is doing it from the Boys and Girls Club in Greenwich, CT. (of course, I have to ask why Greenwich needs a Boys and Girls Club, I always thought it was full of rich people who commuted into NYC to work. Perhaps the organization is there to help kids whose parents make less than $200,000 a year, but I digress.) But seriously, this whole thing has been ridiculous. A media spectacle that can only be found in America.


I just wish he would have made his decision and put it out in a statement to the media like everyone else. I would have made him seem more humble. It would have been the classy way to go. Perhaps Cleveland fans wouldn’t have felt so betrayed. Instead, he had to drag it out for a week, having the media camp out on his doorstep, report on his every breath and leave poor Cavs fans on pins and needles.


Since the Bosh and Wade news was announced on Wednesday, the day prior to LeBron’s announcement, it seemed to be inevitable he would join them in Miami. He had played with them before in the Olympics and it was no secret they wanted to play on the same team. He should have just released a statement shortly after that saying he had made the decision to join his friends Bosh and Wade and the Miami Heat in the quest for an NBA Championship. That’s it. No more spectacle. It would have made him look more humble and less like an ego maniac. But no, he had to drag it out for 24 more hours and star in a special on ESPN.


I personally didn’t get to see “The Decision,” so I decided to read the transcripts from the interview with ESPN’s Jim Gray. Of course, I can’t just post it the way it was transcribed. I will break it down so you will know what LeBron really meant.


What have you thought about this process?

This process has been everything I've thought and more. And that's what I did a few years ago; I put myself in a position to have this process where I can hear teams' pitches and figure out what was the best possible chance for me to ultimately win and to ultimately be happy.

Translation: I love all of this attention. I’m an ego maniac. I want to win and be rich.

You weren't able to be recruited because you went straight to the NBA from high school. Have you enjoyed this recruiting process now?


I have enjoyed it. And I want to thank all six teams that I had an opportunity to sit down with and hear what they had to say. And my team, they hear what we had to say also.
It's been an unbelievable experience, a real humbling experience to be even to be in this position.

Translation: I’ve enjoyed every minute of the entire country, heck, world even, watching my every move. I’ve loved having a ticker on Sports Center. I’ve loved having media camp out in front of my Nike Skills Camp. I’ve loved having grown men beg me to come to their city. I’ve loved having President Obama beg me to come to Chicago. It is an ego maniac’s dream.



When did you decide?


I think I decided this morning. I mean, I decided this morning I went day to day. I wake up one morning, it's this team. I wake up another morning, it's this team. And it's a process that I felt it was I may feel like this is the best opportunity for me or not the best opportunity for me.


But this morning I woke up, had a great conversation with my mom. Once I had that conversation with her, I think I was set.


Translation: I’ve known all along I was going to Miami. I want to see how much people would beg and plead with me to stay in Cleveland or go to their city.



You've had everybody else biting their nails. So I guess it's time for them to stop chewing. The answer to the question everybody wants to know: LeBron, what's your decision?


In this fall, this is very tough, in this fall I'm going to take my talents to South Beach and join the Miami Heat.


Translation: This fall, I’m going to take my ego and powder down to Miami. I mean, who wouldn’t choose Miami over Cleveland???? Beautiful women, sandy beaches. Hell, it’s freakin’ cold in Cleveland.


Why?

Like I said before, I feel like it's going to give me the best opportunity to win and to win for multiple years, and not only just to win in the regular season or just to win five games in a row or three games in a row, I want to be able to win championships. And I feel like I can compete down there.


Translation: Being filthy rich just isn’t enough for me. I can’t win a championship by myself, being at Cleveland has proven that. I need more talented teammates.



How do you explain this to the people in Cleveland?


I mean, it's heartfelt for me. You know, it's hard to explain, but at the same time my heart, in the seven years I gave to that franchise, to that city, it was everything.

I mean, those 20,000 plus fans that came out every night we played, and they seen me grow from an 18 year old kid to a 25 year old man. And I never wanted to leave Cleveland. And my heart will always be around that area. But I also felt like this is the greatest challenge for me is to move on.


Translation: Suckers!!!!!!!!!!



What do you think will be the fans' reaction back there, and will you still live in Akron?

I'm not sure. You know, they can have mixed emotions, of course, but it's going to be a lot of emotions not understanding why. And then you're going to have the real friends who love me for who I am. For me being from Akron, Ohio, and loving Akron, Ohio, it's always home for me. I'm still going to live there, always be home. And Akron, Ohio is always home for me and that area.


Translation: I think the fans will still love me. I put the Cavs on the map. Of course, they will never be the same without me. I’m sure some folks will be mad at me, but that’s life. I’ll have a championship ring next year. Something Cleveland will never have. If I couldn’t give it to them, no one can. And will I still live in Akron? NO WAY! I'm gonna get me a sweet pad in South Beach.


For what it’s worth, I’m sorry about my behavior after that breakup. It was childish and immature. But it’s funny how things work out. If he hadn’t dumped me, I would never have met Tom and wouldn’t have the life I have now. So cheer up, Cavs fans. You never know where the road might lead.

Yum!

A couple of my dear friends have created a blog...http://www.appetitesignite.blogspot.com/. If I so say so myself, it features some pretty yummy recipes and other entertaining ideas. They are both very talented dessert chefs and always have great advice about cooking. So I invite you to follow Toni and Rox. Bet you will learn something!

It's Good to be the King

All I have to say is, “wow.” It must be good to be LeBron James. Now there is a LeBron ticker on ESPN. Everyone knows by now (unless you live in a hole) that King James is a free agent and he is being courted by several NBA teams. It is quite possibly the most pathetic display I’ve seen in sports in a long time, maybe ever. It is quite ridiculous how teams and entire cities are courting him. Grown men are singing songs about LeBron staying in their town or moving to their town. It is a frenzy that can only happen in American sports.

I don’t blame LeBron. He is a great basketball player and is trying to make the right decision. Sure, his decision is based mostly on money, and honestly, can you blame him? He made more money in endorsements the day he signed with Cleveland at 18 years of old than the majority of us will make in our entire lives. Besides, I guarantee you if someone offered you an obscene amount of money to do the job you loved to do, you would take it.

I blame the media for this frenzy. Everytime I turn on ESPN there is a new story speculating where LeBron will go. They've uncovered someone who claims to know something and is predicting LeBron will go here or stay there. They have a reporter camped out in front of his basketball camp in Akron, or in front of the office where he has been meeting with a team.

You have to imagine LeBron is enjoying this attention just a little bit. I mean, he’s got teams fighting over him, something we would all love to have happen to us. Put yourself in his shoes. Say you got a great job at Joe’s Corporation. You worked there a few years and made Joe’s a household name and improved their profit margins. Then, other companies began courting you. They flew you out to meet with them and showed you everything they could give you. It is obvious with all of the companies that you will be the top dog and you will get anything you want there. New desk? Check. Expense account? Check. Gourmet coffee? Check. New computer and iPhone? Check. Everything you need to do the best job you can do. What would you do? Would location play a factor? Would you still be loyal to Joe’s because it is where you got your start and happens to be located in your home state? Would you take a chance on a new company where there are new coworkers and a new boss/coach?

The big question now is just where will LeBron go? Will he stay in Cleveland? Will he go to Chicago? Miami? New York? Honestly, I don’t think it matters. His previous history with Cleveland has shown that one man – no matter how talented – cannot win a championship.

Tiger Woods + Skanky Women = HUGE payday for Elin

Rumor has it, and some say it is just rumor, that Elin Nordegren (aka Mrs. Tiger Woods) is set to receive a butt load of money in her divorce settlement. At first, it was rumored to be $750 million, but now the figure is only a mere $100 million. Yep, that’s right, folks, Elin is a beautiful woman who will be rolling in the cash that her ex-husband made. Good for her! Good for her for not taking his indiscretions of sleeping around with skanky women. Good for her for being a role model for her daughter and son and showing that she won’t just take being treated that way. Good for her for showing the women of the world that she isn’t just a delicate little flower that relies on a “big strong man” to take care of her.


I really only have one thing to say to Tiger: I hope all that messing around with skanky women and sex while high on Ambien was worth it, because it may be the most high-priced sex in history. I'm just sayin'...

I'm Just Sayin'...

Apparently, I say "I'm Just Sayin'" a lot. I also apparently blog that phrase a lot. As in "I don't like Erin Andrews... I'm just sayin'..." or "Tiger Woods is such a putz (keeping it clean, but could think of much better words to use) ... I'm just sayin'..." I use it so much, in fact, that Tom suggested I change the name of my blog to I'm Just Sayin'.

I really like the name of my blog, so I'm not changing it. But, I will think I will start a regular feature entitled, you guessed it, "I'm Just Sayin'." Here is the first one. Hope you enjoy.


I'm Just Sayin'...

It's the Fourth of July and it seems there are fireworks safety tips on every news station. Turn on your TV and you will like see warnings about sparklers, firecrackers and roman candles. Now, I think that idiots should not be allowed to use fireworks, but sometimes, it seems idiots are the only ones that do use fireworks. I believe people should be responsible when they are setting something on fire (doesn't everyone?) and a few tips on the news here are there are perfectly fin. (Personally, I am a bit afraid of fireworks and have never lit anything more than a sparkler.) But why must we see the clip of a sparkler being held to a sweet little girl's sundress every year and subsequently watch it burst into flames? I think even idiots know not to hold something on fire up to a little girls dress, don't thye? Of course, I know accidents can happen and likely no one is just holding it up to the dress to watch it catch fire for shits and giggles, but can't we show a more realistic clip? How about just the sparkler getting too close to the little girl's dress instead of some deviant holding it up to the dress (okay, it is a mannequin, but my imagination sees a deviant.) How about warnings of how bottle rockets being shot in the middle of the night can give elderly folks a heart attack (ok, maybe not, but they certainly bother me.)

So on this July 4th holiday weekend, celebrate America and our glorious freedom with family and friends, but please, do not, under any circumstances, put a sparkler to a little girl's dress. I'm just sayin'...

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Hello my name is Dawn and I'm a snorer. A BIG, LOUD snorer. It's caused some frustration in my house. It seems I snore loudly. It is worse when I am pregnant, but doesn't get softer for some time. And when your husband is a light sleeper, that can be a problem. I feel guilty because I am sleeping away and he is not. He is frustrated because he knows I can't help it. I tried Breathe Right strips, throat sprays, a wedge pillow. Nothing worked. Then, the Pure Sleep device came into our lives.

We resisted it for a while. We thought surely it must be a sham. And at $60 plus shipping and handling, it isn't cheap. But it worked! Can you hear Tom singing Hallelujah?????????

It's almost like a retainer and you boil it in water for a minute, then fit it to your mouth. The trick is to push out your lower jaw. Apparently, that opens up your airway a bit and keeps you from snoring. It is glorious, or so my husband says. My snoring wasn't bothering me at all.

I'm Finally Speaking Out

I’ve been silent about this topic for sometime, but I have to break my silence. I don’t like Erin Andrews. There, I said it. Several people have been bashed for saying negative things about her, but I am speaking out. I don’t like her. I don’t take her seriously. She wants to have it both ways. She wants to be a serious sports journalist, but them turns around and poses in Maxim and the like.

Frankly, I think being stalked and filmed through a peep hole in a hotel by a creepy man was probably the best thing that happened to her. Now I know that’s a bold statement, but think about it. Did YOU know who she was before she was taped walking around naked in her hotel room by a stalker? I didn’t think so. Very few people did. Sure, she’s visible on ESPN and you may have known her from there, but let’s face it. She was eye candy for ESPN viewers, the majority of which, happen to be men.

Now, I’m not saying what happened to her was right. Her privacy was violated. She should be allowed to walk around naked in her own hotel room (no matter how strange I think that is, but anyway.) I’m just saying it was the best thing to happen to her career. She became a household name from the media coverage of her stalker. Then, she was asked to shake what her mama gave her on Dancing with the Stars.


And speaking of DWTS, I think it was a bad move for her. I mean, here she is, in the middle of this stalker mess and she is dancing on television doing sultry, sexual dance moves in skimpy clothing with a really handsome dance partner. It just was weird to me. How can I take her seriously as a real sports journalist if she is shaking her rump half naked? The answer: I can’t.


Don’t get me wrong, she is a beautiful woman and is free to pose wherever and however she wants, but don’t expect me to take her seriously when she is half naked. I think she is pretty good at her ESPN job, but when she starts to become a “celebrity” outside of that job, that is when I lost interest and respect.

And We Shall Call Him...

Zane Ezekiel Ray


Well, we did it. We named a person. If you will recall, I blogged about baby naming a few months ago. You’ll remember we didn’t want to just name a baby, but we wanted to name a person. Give him/her a strong name, one that would stand the test of time; one that wouldn’t seem silly when he/she was 45 years old. One that would sound great when he was up to bat in the World Series. One that folks could take seriously when she was sitting at the head of the boardroom table. I think we hit it square on the head.

I have to confess, we didn’t know our top 2 choices for each gender until we were on our way to the hospital. We named our little bundle in the operating room about 10 minutes after he was born and we think we came up with a winner. Question is: did it pass all of our tests?

• The 40-year-old career man/woman test: as this test is fairly self-explanatory, and subjective, we think we nailed this one. Zane is a good VP or CEO name. It’s unforgettable, but not juvenile. Zane Ray: sounds like a power broker.

• The Yell Test: go ahead, yell it. We did. Several times, in fact. It comes out of your mouth nicely, doesn’t it? Almost like butter.

• The Graduation Announcement Test: Zane Ezekiel Ray (said stately over the loudspeaker.) Yep, that works. Sounds like a kid ready to go tackle college.

• The Athlete Name Test (over the Intercom at say, the World Series): Now batting for the St. Louis Cardinals, your shortstop... #8... Zane Ray. Great jock name, but also sounds strong and intellectual.

• The 4-year-old test aka the Tripp test: As stated previously, this isn't what Tripp thinks of the name, but mainly what he thinks of when he hears the name. When Tom told Tripp he had a brother named Zane, Tripp smiled and said “cool.” Enough said.

• The Tooth Fairy Test: this is essentially what the child's name would sound like when he/she says it after losing a bunch of teeth, as kids are prone to do. No s’s, so we’re good.

• The "was she/he a slut/jerk in high school/college/other parts of your life test?": The only Zane I know is my uncle (whom our little guy is name after) and Zane is his middle name. He's a great guy, my favorite uncle, in fact. So, no problem there. (Tom didn’t know any Zanes either.)

• The "how the name sounds with a thick Southern Accent" test: Say it with the thickest Ellie Mae accent you can muster. It doesn’t sound weird at all. Sure, it has a long A sound, but not too bad, even for my sweet mom with the thick Southern Accent.

• The "which one are you again?" test: We wanted a distinct name, not one where there would be several kids with the same name in his class. Do you know any Zanes? Yeah, neither did we.

In all, we are very pleased with our name choice. We named him after a wonderful man (who happens to be my Dad’s twin brother) and his middle name is my maiden name, so he is named after my dad. That was very important to me. So you see, I didn’t really have anything to stress over. And, I told you we would probably name the baby John or Jane. Hmmm…. Zane is derived from John (according to my baby name book and it also means “Gift from God”) and it also rhymes with Jane. Perhaps I knew his name all along.

The Adventures of Mr. Poopy Pants

Well, it's been a while since I've blogged, but I've been a little busy. Yep, Mr. Poopy Pants Zane and my politician, Tripp (I like to call him Bill Clinton) have been keeping me quite busy these last few weeks.

Zane will be 6 weeks on Monday -- WOW!!!!-- and we've been pretty busy since coming home from the hospital. In fact, Mr. Poopy Pants has had quite the adventurous life. Here's a quick run down:

• 2 Redbirds Games
• 2 tee ball games for big brother Tripp
• 2 trips to Mama Sue's
• Swimming lessons for Tripp
• visits from Pa, Mama Sue (several times), Aunt Sherry, Uncle Rick and Sam
• trips to Kroger
• trips to Target
• drop off and pick up at VBS (for Tripp)
• 2 trips to Hilton (gotta visit the peeps)
• Lunch with Ms. Toni and Ms. Sandra
• Lunch with Ms. Beverly and Ms. Pam and Daddy
• Lunch with Daddy
• Birthday lunch for mom
• Walking at the indoor track at the gym
• Pool at Germantown Athletic Club

You get the idea. I'm not one of those moms that stays home with a newborn baby. We just keep on going and don't let anything stop us. I have to admit, though, I am pretty tired. It's funny, though. I thought having a baby would keep me tired, but it turns out Mr. Poopy Pants is a really easy baby. He is a good eater and a good sleeper. He rarely cries. He sleeps and smiles. I am sure that will change soon, but for now, I will take it. My little policitician, little Bill Clinton, is the one that keeps me running. He has VBS, camps, swimming lessons and play dates. It's tough being a president in the making.

Halle Berry Confirms What I’ve Suspected All Along…

Beauty isn’t everything.

Just because you are beautiful, doesn’t mean you aren’t a head case. And, Halle Berry, my dear friends, is a major head case. Before you get your feathers ruffled … allow me to explain.

She is perhaps the most beautiful woman in the world. A style icon that graces the covers of fashion and celebrity magazines. A beautiful mother with a sweet baby girl. She’s an Oscar winner, she sells us Revlon make up. She’s also a head case.

Because I am an equal opportunity offender, I felt the need to post about Ms. Berry’s latest relationship conundrum. Last week, it was announced she and her model boyfriend (who is also the father of her baby) decided to split. Hmmm, seems she’s been through a lot of men.

Let’s look at a history of Halle’s men to support my argument that she’s a head case.

David Justice: the handsome baseball player from the Atlanta Braves was really the first public relationship Halle had. She was an up and coming actress and he was a handsome and popular baseball player. They were married and they seemed to be the perfect match. When the split, it was revealed that Justice was abusive to Berry. NO WOMAN (OR MAN) SHOULD STAY IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP!!!!! So she gets a pass.

Then, Halle became involved with Eric Benet, an R & B and soul singer. Many thought this was the relationship that would make her happy. She was finally out of the abusive relationship with David Justice and the beautiful Ms. Berry was married to a man who loved and respected her. Until they broke up. Halle claims he cheated on her 27 times. Here is where I ask the obvious question in everyone’s mind…

WHO CHEATS ON FREAKIN’ HALLE BERRY, UNLESS….. She’s a head case????

In 2005-2006, everyone thought Halle had finally found it—the elusive love of her life that had previously evaded her. She gave birth to a daughter in 2008. The father of her baby is Gabriel Aubry, a beautiful model and nine years her junior. They were the most beautiful couple on any red carpet in Hollywood. A beautiful model and perhaps the world’s most beautiful woman.

Of course, they have broken up.

Oh, one thing I failed to mention that has always bugged me about Halle Berry. It has pretty much been swept under the rug (by some pretty good PR folks, I might add.) In 2000, she was in a hit-and-run accident near the Sunset Strip. She injured a woman, and drove away to get medical attention for herself! What??!!??!!??! Are you kidding me? It was also revealed she was in a similar accident a few years prior and ran away from the scene. Unbelievable. Berry was sued by the woman she injured and Berry settled.

Of course, this is all my opinion, but I still stand by it. Beauty isn’t everything. She keeps having issues with men and seems so “unlucky in love.” I think she’s not so unlucky as she is a “head case in love.” I’m just sayin’…

Riddle me this...

Some glitter when they get in the sun. Some burn and melt in the sun. Some can pass for humans in the sun, just very pale humans. Others just can’t go out at all.


Some sleep/die in the daytime. Others sleep in coffins. Yet others don’t need any sleep.

Some have to have human blood. Others can live on synthetic blood. Yet others survive on animal blood.
What am I talking about? You guessed it… vampires.

For the last 2 years or so, America and the world has been re-introduced to vampires. And I’m not talking about the blood sucking killers from Transylvania named Dracula. I’m talking about romantic vampires, ones that are handsome and dreamy (albeit a bit pale.) I’m talking about Civil War vampires with long, Southern draws for accents, and teenage vampires that live in Washington state. Today’s vampires are out and about, they are known about and aren’t in hiding anymore. And frankly, that makes them more confusing.

I’ll admit, I’ve succumbed to the vampire storylines that have been gripping everyone else. The Twilight saga featuring young Edward Cullen that makes teenagers and their moms swoon to be bitten on the neck; the Sookie Stackhouse novels that have been made into HBO’s Tru Blood with Bill Compton, the sultry Civil War vampire who falls in love with a “common but uncommon” Louisiana waitress; the teeny bopper show on the CW, “The Vampire Diaries,” featuring the ultimate good vs. evil vampire brothers (might I mention they are also hot) Stephan and Damon Salvatore in modern day Mystic Falls, Virginia. I’ve also read a series of novels by Laurell K. Hamilton about a modern day vampire hunter, Anita Blake, who falls in love with -- get this -- the city of St. Louis’ Master Vampire, Jean-Claude.

And, each of these vampires is different and has very different characteristics. Sometimes it’s hard to keep it all straight. For example, Edward can go out in daylight, and it isn’t so obvious he is a vampire, as long as it is cloudy. But in the sun, he sparkles like a million diamonds. Damon and Stephan can also go out in daylight and they are protected. Poor Bill Compton, on the other hand, dies all over again each morning and sleeps in either a coffin or under the floor of his home in a “hidey hole.” If he goes out in the sun, he burns severely and will die (but he’s already dead, but I digress.) Jean Claude also sleeps/dies during the day and can’t go out at night.

Some vampires eat food just to keep up appearances. Others don’t even bother. Some drink normal drinks like coffee to warm their body temperatures. Others don’t even bother. It’s all quite confusing and it must be a conundrum if you are the woman who is in love with them.

Big Ben: The Apology

I’ll be the first to admit, I don’t know much about the Ben Rothlisberger allegations. I’ve been preoccupied with this whole baby, pregnancy thing, and haven’t read or seen much about it. But I do know this: he should be punished if he did what the girl accused. I have read there is very little evidence so they couldn’t bring any legal charges against him, but still. He violated the NFL’s personal conduct policy and doesn’t the NFL have enough image problems right now with Michael Vick and others? The NFL suspended the Steelers quarterback for 6 games and he issued an apology to his fans, the Steelers, the NFL, his family, etc.


So, in typical Dawn Ray of Sunshine fashion, I have attempted to break down Big Ben’s statement for you in real language and tell you what he really means.



"The commissioner's decision to suspend me speaks clearly that more is expected of me. I am accountable for the consequences of my actions. Though I have committed no crime, I regret that I have fallen short of the values instilled in me by my family. I will not appeal the suspension and will comply with what is asked of me -- and more.

I was partying it up in Georgia and had a little too much to drink. This girl flirted with me -- I mean, who wouldn’t -- I’m a Super Bowl winning quarterback, and perhaps I took it a little too far. My mother is very disappointed in me. I’m not going to stir the pot and appeal the suspension. I’m lucky I got off with just that.

"Missing games will be devastating for me. I am sorry to let down my teammates and the entire Steelers fan base. I am disappointed that I have reached this point and will not put myself in this situation again.

Pittsburgh is a great place and Steelers fans are really hard core. I’ve been in trouble before and they looked the other way. I hope they do this time. I'm afraid if they don't, they will kick my a$$.  I am disappointed I got caught (I'm smarter than that!) and you can bet I will be more careful next time around.

"I appreciate the opportunities that I have been given in my life and will make the necessary improvements."

I’ve been given great opportunities and I will be more careful the next time I want to party and get some action from the ladies. I will be more discreet. Like Tiger Woods.

There you have it. Don't want to let anyone off the hook.

A letter to the newest Baby Ray...

Dearest Baby Ray, my sweet, unborn child-


As I am entering the final 3 weeks of my pregnancy with you, I find it fitting to write this letter to express how I am feeling in these final few days. I can’t wait to have your sweet, smiling face in our home and watch our family grow. I can’t wait to spend quiet time with you watch and you grow and learn new things. I can’t wait to watch you share tender moments with your father and have your big brother Tripp teach you all the cool stuff to do (and some that you shouldn’t do at all!) Those will be some of the happiest times of our lives, and my heart beams at the love you will bring into our already bursting-at-the-seams-with-love household. But there is one more thing, dear baby, which I have to share with you. I am begging you… please, please, please for the love of God, get off my bladder and stop hurting me.


You are a sweet angel, I am quite sure, but honestly, you are like an alien inside my belly right now. You constantly sit on my bladder. Your feet constantly poke me in the ribs. You are hungry all the time, even when I am not. You make my back hurt. You make my feet swell. You toss and turn like a Olympic gymnast. Frankly, I just want you out.


Not to be mean, dear, sweet little baby, but you will be more fun out than you are in. Your cries will sound like music to my ears, since my back and belly won’t be hurting much anymore. The nighttime feedings will be a treat since I won’t be hungry every hour. The changing 10 diapers a day will be a dream come true since my feet and fingers won’t be so swollen.

I am begging you, sweet angel baby, to come on out now and give your mama a little break. We can’t wait to meet you and shower you with love and kisses. Plus, I will be a lot less grumpy, even on very little sleep.



Much love,


Mom

Easter with the Rays

I realize it's a couple of weeks past Easter, but I've been busy with perfect brownies and the like. However, I did want to share some of our Easter pics, as well as tell a story about my little evangelist. First the pics...

Easter walk-thru at CMDS, Tripp got to put a flower on the cross.

Easter Egg Hunt at 2nd Pres. with Hayes, Harrison and Ivy

A bit of a crazy face from Tripp

Tripp and Mama Sue

At the fountain at church

I can't believe I put up a pregnancy photo

With the Easter Bunny at Windyke Easter Egg Hunt

Our Easter was fulled with lots of fun stuff, but perhaps the best of all was the song Tripp sang at the Windyke Easter Egg Hunt. Before the hunt got started, there was a little talent show for the kids while we were waiting for everyone to show up. The gentleman asked for kids to tell jokes or sing songs. Immediately, our little politician wanted the mic. Tripp knew several jokes so we thought he would go that route. But, he decided to sing a song. One that he made up, entitled, "Jesus Died on the Cross for Us." The gentleman picked a few other kids first and Tripp got a little upset, but then he was called to go on stage. He was ready.

He was handed the mic, and thus began his songwriting and singing debut.

                                            

                 Eyes are a little red from getting upset, but he was ready.

                                           

              Let the singing begin!!!

The song went a little something like this (sung with a melancholy tone to set the mood):

Jesus died on the cross for us

He died to save us

They took him away and

Put him on the cross

Guy with mic: "are you finished? that's great!"

Tripp: "No, I have more"

Jesus died on the cross for us

The soldiers took him away

He died for us

And put him on the cross

Guy with mic: "are you finished? Let's give a hand to Tripp!"
Tripp: "I'm not finished yet."

The soliders took him away

He died for us

They put him in a tomb

And he rolled away the stone

He lives for us!

Applause all around. Tripp was so proud of himself, and so were we. Everyone thought he was the cutest thing and while others were telling "why did the chicken cross the road jokes" our little evangelist was telling us the story of Easter.

Perfect Brownie Pan = Perfect Brownies

I've been talking about getting a perfect brownie pan for months. Well, friends, I am the lucky recipient of one, thanks to my co-workers (Thanks, Toni!)

Tripp and I decided to try it out and I thought I would blog about it. It is very easy to use, and I have photos to prove it. We used a simple Duncan Hines brownie mix (I think boxed brownies tend to be more moist and chewier than homemade) and they turned out simply delightful!

First, we mixed up the box of brownie mix with your requisite oil and eggs.

Then, Tripp poured into the brownie pan. (we added a few chocolate chips because I think there is no such thing as brownies that are too chocolate-y.)

Tripp stirred the chips into the pan.

Of course, Tripp had some of the batter. YUMMY! (and had to take a picture of himself!)

It was then time for the separator device. This nifty gadget ensures your brownies are the perfect size. (in my pan, I get 12 quite large brownies, YUM!)

Off into the oven they went, per the instructions, and voila! Perfect brownies!

I give the perfect brownie pan an A +++.

Grammar Pet Peeves

Yep, I've got 'em. They make me cringe. And I know this is tacky, but they make me judge you. I know some folks forgot their grammar as soon as they graduated high school, but I can't help it.

I have compiled a list of common grammar mistakes and pet peeves. Some of these are very common and I make them myself (I'm constantly looking things up so I won't make mistakes.) I hope it solves the grammar problems of the world. My high school English teacher, Ms. Warren, would be very proud.

Loose for lose


Incorrect: I always loose my car keys.

Correct: I always lose my car keys.

It's for its (or God forbid, its'):

Incorrect: Download the document, along with it's readme file.

Correct: Download the document, along with its readme file.

Incorrect: The laptop is overheating and its making that funny noise again.

Correct: The laptop is overheating and it's making that funny noise again.



“it’s” is a contraction of it and is. Also, “it’s” is possessive.



They're for their or there

Incorrect: The VPs are in they're weekly planning meeting.

Correct: The VPs are in their weekly planning meeting.

Incorrect: The techs have to check there cell phones at the door, and their not happy about it.

Correct: The techs have to check their cell phones at the door, and they're not happy about it.



“they’re” is a contraction of they are. “their” is possessive.



i.e. for e.g.

Incorrect: Use an anti-spyware program (i.e., Ad-Aware).

Correct: Use an anti-spyware program (e.g., Ad-Aware).



Note: The term i.e. means "that is"; e.g. means "for example". And a comma follows both of them.



Effect for affect

Incorrect: The outage shouldn't effect any users during work hours.

Correct: The outage shouldn't affect any users during work hours.

Correct: The outage shouldn't have any effect on users.

Correct: We will effect several changes during the downtime.



You're for your

Incorrect: Remember to clean you're dishwasher on a regular basis.

Correct: Remember to clean your dishwasher on a regular basis.

Incorrect: Your right about the changes.

Correct: You're right about the changes.



“you’re” is a contraction for you are. “your” is possessive.



Lay for lie

Incorrect: I got dizzy and had to lay down.

Correct: I got dizzy and had to lie down.

Correct: Just lay those books over there.



A person lies down, buy lays objects down.



Then for than

Incorrect: The accounting department had more layoffs then we did.

Correct: The accounting department had more layoffs than we did.



Incorrect: If this is true, than I'm a fool.

Incorrect: I am more of a fool then you are.

Correct: If this is true, then I'm a fool.

Correct: I am more of a fool than you are.





Could of, would of for could have, would have

Incorrect: I could of installed that app by mistake.

Correct: I could have installed that app by mistake.

Incorrect: I would of sent you a meeting notice, but you were out of town.

Correct: I would have sent you a meeting notice, but you were out of town.



Writing `cannot' as two words

Incorrect: I can not decide.

Correct: I cannot decide.



Using `if' when you should use `whether'

Incorrect: I do not know if this is true.

Correct: I do not know whether this is true.

Correct: If this is true, then the moon is made of cheese.



Gender-neutral pronouns at the expense of grammar.

Incorrect: If someone did say that, then they were lying.

Correct: Anyone who did say that was lying.

Correct: All those who did say that were lying.



Dawn Ray Grammar Pet Peeves



When a sentence construction begins with if, you don't need a then. “Then” is implicit, so the sentence becomes too wordy.

Incorrect: If you can't get Windows to boot, then you'll need to call Ted.

Correct: If you can't get Windows to boot, you'll need to call Ted.



Using an unnecessary “that” in writing. For the most part, you don’t need “that.” Try reading your sentence and leaving out “that.” Chances are you won’t need the word.

Incorrect: It was evident that he had a drinking problem.

Correct: It was evident he had a drinking problem.



Using over instead of more than. Over is a spatial term. More than connotes quantity. (It is important to note that people say “over 500 hotels” in common everyday language, but it is grammatically incorrect.)

Incorrect: Hilton Garden Inn has over 500 hotels open.

Correct: Hilton Garden Inn has more than 500 hotels open.



Using “I” instead of “me.” Many people fall victim to this grammatical error, thinking they are choosing the appropriate word, but instead, choose the wrong word. When in doubt of which one to use, take out the first word before “and” and read the sentence again.

Incorrect: The only people waiting in line were Toni and I.

Correct: The only people waiting in line were Toni and me.

(if you follow my rule, you will see this is correct. The only person waiting in line was me (not I).



Incorrect: Roxane and me went to the store to buy cookies for Sandra’s birthday.

Correct: Roxane and I went to the store to buy cookies for Sandra’s birthday.

(if you follow my rule, you will see this is correct. It would read: I went to the store to buy cookies for Sandra’s birthday.)



Using wait on for wait for. The phrase wait on should be used only when referring to serving someone or something.

Incorrect: We waited on our guests to arrive.

Correct: The server waited on the customers in the restaurant.

Correct: We waited for our guests to arrive.



Who vs. That: that is a pronoun and is often mistakenly used in place of who. When the noun to which you are referring is a person, always use who. If, however, you are not referring to a person, then the appropriate pronoun to use is that.



Incorrect: The waitress that served me was very rude. (In this sentence, that is referring to a real person–the waitress–so who should have been used instead.)

Correct: The waitress who served me was very rude.

Correct: The car that is parked in the street belongs to me. (That is correctly used because a car is not a person. Who would, of course, have been incorrect if used in this sentence.)