Like many Memphians (and music fans), I love Justin Timberlake. He’s talented, funny, a great
entertainer and just relatable. Beyond that, I just really like his songs. One
of the ones I’ve always liked is What Goes Around…Comes Around. Y'all know the
one I’m talking about. It’s rumored to be the “sequel” to Cry Me a River, which was about JT’s ex, Britney Spears, and the rumored subject of the song is one of his friends and his celebrity girlfriend. It’s a break up song, one that is
about finding out in time that what comes around goes around. JT sings about
how he can’t believe this is how we are saying goodbye, but in time, what comes
around goes around. Well, that song has been in my head a lot the last few
weeks, and not because of any scorned lover or break up situation. Well, sort
of. Let me explain.
If you know me well, you know I love college basketball. And
2008 was a banner year for me and my college basketball fandom. Truthfully, it
is where my love for the Memphis Tigers basketball team bordered on obsession.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, then just google it. Our little old
Memphis Tigers spent a good portion of the season at the top of the basketball
polls. Now, we’ve always been a basketball town here in Memphis and truthfully,
have always loved our Tigers and we’ve had a few shining moments in the
national spotlight (Larry Finch, Penny Hardaway) and have had some nice
tournament runs, but nothing anyone outside of Memphis would count as
considerable. Then we hired arguably one of the best college basketball coaches
to ever coach the game. John Calipari. He took the best available college
basketball job there was, and at the time, that was Memphis. Cal had previously
coached at UMass and had bolted the college scene for the NBA and it didn’t go
so well. He needed out of New Jersey. Memphis came calling, and he accepted. It
was rocky at first (which may be putting it mildly.) But he was afforded
patience by the residents of our fair city and there’s one thing you can say
about Memphians, we get behind something with all of our passion. And after a
couple of seasons, we were behind him 100 percent. For better or worse, we began to welcome him
as a Memphian. Heck, we even welcomed him as family. And when he took us to the
Promised Land (The NCAA Tournament—all hail March Madness) as a #1 seed, we
rejoiced. We cheered through the entire tournament (even when they said we
would be he first #1 seed in history to be beaten by a #16 seed.) We hung on
and we made it to the Championship Game. And then, we lost. And that hurt. A
lot. Hell, it still does hurt. But somehow we got through it. We all cried
together. And we looked forward to the next season.
The next season wasn’t as fruitful as the previous one, but
Cal had redeemed himself in the eyes of the college basketball world (the
general consensus much to Tiger fans chagrin was “if he can make Memphis that
successful, he can do that at another school.”) Kentucky—the mother of all
college basketball jobs—came calling and even though he said he wasn’t
interested and lied to Memphis fans and the Memphis media about leaving, he
left anyway. Without saying goodbye. Sort of like the equivalent of getting
broken up with via text message (only we didn’t even get the text message.) I
will spare you the details, but in short, he broke up with us for a hotter
woman. He left Memphis. Took our recruits, coaches and even our snow cone
machine and headed to Lexington.
Like all of Tiger Nation, I was distraught. I had bought everything
Calipari sold -- hook, line and blue and gray sinker. Just like he told us too,
I carried that chip on my shoulder. Now, my coach left. And he didn’t even say
goodbye. I was crushed. I was depressed. I took it entirely too hard (my
husband was genuinely worried about me.) Then, like the stages of grief, I got
mad. I began to formulate this (why my husband considered) unhealthy outlook
toward Calipari. So I did what any heartbroken person would do, I wrote a
letter.
I needed to break up with him. So I wrote a broke up letter to John
Calipari. I posted it on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/notes/dawn-ray/an-open-letter-to-coach-cal-from-a-tiger-fan/63807527053
. I sent it to by friends via email. It was cathartic for me. And with that
catharsis came my new pastime-complaining about Calipari. It sorta became my new “party trick.” Just the
mention of his name sent me into orbit. I got on my soapbox about him being a snake
oil salesman (can’t take credit for that phrase, that was all Tom Ray.) But I was
vocal. Friends and co-workers used to watch me unleash when anyone asked about
Calipari. When I was traveling for work, I would overhear someone at cocktail
parties say “ask Dawn about John Calipari,” just for their own entertainment. I
even was set off when I heard the words “University of Kentucky” or saw a UK
logo. I had it bad. I was a woman scorned. And you know what they say about the
fury of a woman scorned…
Slowly, I managed to get over the breakup. The Tigers hired
a new coach (uh, the only one he didn’t take with him to Kentucky) and I became
a Josh Pastner fan. I realized life kept chugging along (just like Red said in "The Shawshank Redemption" — I needed to “get
busy living or get busy dying.”) I tried to get busy living. Eventually, I didn’t
think about him as much. I didn’t talk about him as much. And I (almost got
over him.)
Then of course, he started doing really well at Kentucky (of
course he did, he’s a good coach and it’s one of the most storied programs in
college basketball history.) And it opened the wound again. I won't even get into the fury of having to vacate the wins from 2008 and take up the banner from our National Championship year. Because of him, that got erased from the history book and that banner doesn't hang. He eventually won a
National Championship at Kentucky and Big Blue Nation celebrated. They too, think he is a basketball god as I once did.
But eventually, the empty feeling you get after a
breakup subsided. Nowadays, I handle it pretty well. I only get a little
bothered by him a few times each basketball season—or when that fateful three
by Kansas’ Mario Chalmers in 2008 is shown repeatedly.
Now, here’s where the “what goes around comes around” part comes
into play. I started a new job about three weeks ago. I. LOVE. IT. There is one tiny irritant with it, however. I
can’t walk five feet in the office without being bombarded with a University of
Kentucky logo. Why, you ask? Well, I work for a company that is one of the
leading managers, developers and owners of collegiate housing. And our crown jewel,
flagship on-campus property? Yep, that’s right. The University of Kentucky.
There is a UK logo everywhere. On my new desk was a coaster set commemorating
the UK relationship. Over the next few weeks or so, I will even take a trip to
Lexington to tour our beautiful properties on the campus. I can’t seem to escape
it.
Now, I know that UK isn’t all Calipari. There's much more to Kentucky than a college basketball coach. It is a wonderful
school with strong academic programs, beautiful student housing and much more
to offer its students along with a strong basketball program. But to a sports fan like me, the universities
are associated with their college athletic programs. And if ever in a game of
word association, I will associate UK basketball with John Calipari.
So, JT. You had it right when you recorded that breakup
song. In time, you will find what goes around, goes around, goes around comess
all the way back around…. I just never thought it would be me on this end of
things. After all, I didn’t break his heart. He broke mine.
