A Slightly Different Kind of Post for Me- A business one with a big word in the title

Recently I've been working on beefing up my company's Linked In profile to help us with business development. I was inspired to write my own post about leadership and management and thank one of my role models. Here's the post. I hope you enjoy 

The Magnanimous Manager

How to be more than “just a boss”

I’ve worked a full-time job now for nearly 20 years, and as you can imagine, I’ve had a variety of bosses during that time. I’ve only worked four places, but in those four companies, I’ve seen a lot of different boss personalities come and go, and truthfully, only a handful of them are some that I would consider leaders. Even further, not all of them were leaders for the better. 

Recently, I’ve been reflecting on those bosses that have come through my life and realizing what an impact they made on me, both positively and negatively. Relationships really matter to me and I’ve had a relationship with each and every one of my bosses throughout my career – for better or worse. I am also a student of the people who surround me, so I truly believe you can learn something—good and bad – from everyone in your life. I recently got a new job with a lot of responsibility and a pretty big title, and honestly, I don’t want to mess it up. So I’ve been drawing inspiration from some of my past managers as to how to be a better boss, and ultimately, a better leader. And not only for the team, but for the organization too. I’ve also been thinking back on some of the not-so-great managers I’ve had and trying not to repeat their mistakes.

One of the most influential managers I have ever had the privilege to work under – and alongside -- is someone who I will refer to as the “magnanimous manager.” I’ve chosen not to name him by name because he is very humble and I don’t want to embarrass him in any way. I’ve learned a lot of things from this leader over the years and even though I haven’t worked for him for a few years now, his words oftentimes pop into my head throughout the day- in team meetings, project meetings or even one-on-one meetings with my team. And I will confess, I have modeled my leadership style after him. Heck, I even stole the word magnanimous from him. (For the record, it means “very generous or forgiving, especially toward a rival or someone less powerful than oneself.” Other descriptors include benevolent or big-hearted, but magnanimous just sounds cooler and more intellectual, doesn’t it? And yes, when he used it several years ago, I had to look it up.) Did I mention he’s one of the smartest people with which I have ever worked?

Of course, I certainly haven’t reached the level of “magnanimous manager” as this gentleman, but I am striving for it every day. All of this reflection about my former bosses has me thinking about what really makes a magnanimous manager. What really takes someone from being “just a boss” to a true manager who is generous and forgiving, or even more, what makes someone a magnanimous leader? What do those type of managers do that others don’t? How did the magnanimous manager in my life make such an impact on me and so many others around him? How has he been so successful in his career, but also contributed to the success of so many others, as well as the organization’s?

I’m sure he’s got a secret sauce to his leadership style, but I noticed several qualities during my decade or so working with him. I’ve shared them below so we can help spread the magnanimous manager movement:

• They praise in public and discipline in private: It’s a parenting mantra I read in some child-rearing books when my oldest son was little, but it also applies here. If scolding is needed, a magnanimous manager will do so behind closed doors, not in the weekly team meeting in front of your colleagues. Praise for a job well done, however, is handled in front of the group. That can be either in person at the team meeting, or even via email. Either way, the praise is made in front of others. That action tells you and everyone else that he/she has taken notice.

• Their praise is genuine: It’s not enough to simply tell someone they’ve done a good job. The praise must be genuine. The magnanimous manager doles out sincere praise at the appropriate time and at the appropriate pace. Meaning, he/she doesn’t send an e-mail of praise every time you do your job. Sure, they take notice, but they know the praise really counts the most when it is genuine and it is for something you worked your ass off to accomplish. They notice when you’ve gone “above and beyond” your regular job, and they also know that the appropriate praise at the right time fosters your loyalty.

• They lift up those below them:  This one seems so obvious, but not all bosses help their team members succeed. This notion seems counterproductive to me, but I’ve worked for a few bosses who just didn’t seem to be interested in it. I’m not sure if the reasoning behind it was because they were somehow threatened by the success of others or if they just had no interest in helping those beneath them, but trust me, it was a miserable journey. To say it is debilitating and discouraging to everyone is a severe understatement. And it can have devastating results that lead to a toxic workplace culture. But when a magnanimous manager lifts up those beneath him/her, the entire team can conquer anything.

•  When others go low, they go high: Yep, I stole that one from Michele Obama, but it is a beautiful sentiment and one that a real leader must do. It’s easy to get sucked in and join the trash talk, but a magnanimous manager doesn’t get sucked into that. They know that words can be damaging and long-lasting, so while someone may be trash talking their way through a lunch or post-meeting, the magnanimous manager listens and lets the person vent, all the while staying above the trash talk.

• They are generous: Generosity can take many forms, but in this case, I’m talking about the words a manager uses with his/her employees. One of my former bosses (other than the one I mentioned above) used to talk about generous language and how it can impact a person. She practiced generous language on a regular basis, preached it to her team and she was definitely right about it. As a communications professional, I’m very aware that words matters and frankly, they can last a long time. So a magnanimous manager is careful with their words and is generous with the feedback, particularly the feedback that can be tough to give. A magnanimous manager can give you the toughest feedback you have ever gotten in your career, but somehow when it is all said and done, you come out feeling better about the situation than when you went in. Words are powerful and generous feedback can be life-changing. I know it was in my experience.

•  But they know when NOT to be generous: Simply, they believe in tough love. And sometimes that means not using generous language when giving feedback. As my dad used to say, sometimes you just need a good, swift kick in the rear to get you moving. And that’s exactly what a magnanimous manager does. They know the balance of generous language, and a good (figurative) swift kick in the you-know-what. And they are honest, even when it hurts.

• They treat you as an equal: Sure, your boss makes more money than you (likely A LOT more) and probably has stock options, a bigger bonus, a company car and perks you’ve never even dreamed of, but a magnanimous manager doesn’t ever brag about those things. In fact, they may never even discuss them at all. They can talk to you about the most complex issues and also have a detailed conversation about the seemingly mundane. The particular manager I’m referencing used to talk to me about cutting his own grass on his John Deere tractor. Yep, you read that correctly. This man had a huge responsibility at work, aggressive goals to meet and myriad appointments, meetings and travel, yet still found time to mow his own lawn. He said it gave him time to himself to relax and think about nothing but moving in straight lines. Now, don’t get me wrong, he would talk about the other things in his life, including even some of the perks, but that was after we got to know each other pretty well and I asked. He never offered up that information.

• They tell you when it is time to move on: This is a tough one because bosses never want to lose great employees, but a magnanimous manager will tell you when it is time to move on and take a better opportunity, whether it is with your current company or not. It doesn’t necessarily mean they will share inside information with you, but they will look out for your best interest, even if that means it is at another company.

•  They are human: This one is really simple, but they act like a human being – and not a boss. They know your kids’ names (or at least that you have kids!) They ask you about your weekend. They engage in conversation about things that matter to you and your team – who won the game over the weekend, the brackets in the office Final Four Challenge, how your new puppy is doing or where you are going on your summer vacation. They are involved with their employees on a level than just project updates, budget maintenance and approvals. They know what’s going on and have an acute awareness when an employee needs that interaction. A magnanimous manager knows the right balance of human and boss can make all the difference in the world.

Of course, I have many more stories and anecdotes about my magnanimous manager (some of them involve wine, tapas, a rattlesnake, Starbucks chocolate chip scones and various other things) and I oftentimes wonder if he knows what an impact he had on me and my leadership style. He’s definitely been a role model for me and I will consider myself successful if I can be half the magnanimous manager he was and still is. So thanks for the guidance, friendship and leadership, magnanimous manager. It did not go unnoticed.