Whatcha thinkin', PHN??!!??!??!???!

If you know me even a little bit, you know I am a Memphis Tigers Basketball fan. You also know that we are in the middle of a true rebuilding year. Our Coach McDreamy, um, I mean, Pastner, has done a heck of a job considering the mess he was handed in April by the snake oil salesman. (I know I said I was over it and not bitter anymore, but occassionally, the bitterness rears its ugly head.)

Last night the U of M announced that native Memphian Pierre Henderson-Niles is no longer a Tiger. The decision was mutual, the statement says. We wish him the best, sthe statement says. We will help him as he presses on to graduate in May, the statement says. But its not what the statement says, so much as what the statement DOESN'T say. (of course, this is my speculating what has actually happened, so take it for what it is worth.)

So, here is what I would say if I had written the statement.

"After much discussion, we are sad to announce that Pierre Henderson-Niles will be leaving the men's Tiger basketball program effective immediately. Henderson-Niles has been a member of our team since he was a freshman, and frankly, didn't see any playing time under John Calipari. Coah Pastner has given him quite the chance to prove himself, by starting him nearly every game, but honestly, Pierre hasn't given Coach, or Tiger fans, much in return.

Henderson-Niles has been shown up the last few games by juco transfer Will Coleman, and has not taken it very maturely. At Saturday's Gonzaga game, when the Tigers needed all of the support and morale it could garner to overcome a deficit, Henderson-Niles refused to participate in a time out huddle.

Thus, after much discussion about obeying team rules, not being a team player and not respecting Coach Pastner's decisions, Henderson-Niles has decided to make the stupidest, most immature decision of his life and leave the team with only 8 regular season games remaining.

We wish him the best, and are pleased to help him succeed in graduating in May. He's certainly going to need that college degree, because he doesn't have a basketball career ahead of him."

Okay, so hopefully you have detected the sarcasm in that statement and know that NO GOOD PR PERSON would ever release something like that, but that is what we all want to hear. It is what we Tiger fans know is true.

Grow up, PHN. You don't always get your way and Coach Pastner has been the best thing to ever happen to you and your basketball career at the U of M.