Baby Names

We're getting closer to the debut of Baby Ray (about 10 weeks if all goes well) and thus we have begun the process of naming baby. A couple of Tom and Dawn guidelines before I move forward:

• We will NOT name him/her before he/she is born
• We won't call him/her by a name while still in the womb (we're weird that way)
• We are naming a person, not a baby
• We are narrowing it down to a list of 3 names for each gender
• We aren't telling anyone our final list of names (people can be downright rude about names!)
• Each person (Tom and Dawn) will have 3 vetoes to exercise per gender . These vetoes don't have to have a reason.

Now that I have spelled out the rules, please allow me to vent a bit. This naming business is hard work, particularly the second time around. Seems like with the doodlebug, we knew what our names would be. Our lists were pretty cut and dried and truth be told, we were 95% sure if our baby was a boy, he would take the family name. A girl likely would have been different. We each only exercised one of our vetoes and we were ok with that. But this time, it is much more difficult.

Even though it wasn't confirmed, I knew in my heart that our first baby was a boy. I thought about girl names, but really didn't give it much thought. I didn't feel I needed to. This one, however, I'm not sure what this kid is and therefore don't know what to name him/her.

I know what you're thinking-- come on, Dawn, this is easy. Just pick a name and go. But if you know me, you know I overanalyze things, and this is no exception. But I don't see it as overanalyzation. I see it is an important "detail" that affects and shapes one's life. I'm a firm believer we are not naming a baby, but a person. Sure, I don't want the child to be one of 3-5 kids in the same class with the same name, but I don't want him/her to go through life constantly spelling his/her name. (Like my friend Roxane, one n.)

To help me solve this, I have created a series of tests to see if any names we are bouncing around fit my criteria:

• The 40-year-old career man/woman test: this test is fairly self-explanatory, and is of course, subjective. Essentially, you ask yourself, would a 40 year old career man/woman have this name and be taken seriously. Examples: Jane would be a name that withstands many ages and she would be taken seriously as a career woman. Tallulah Belle--not so much.
• The Yell Test: suggested to me by my friend Pam, this test is exactly what it sounds like. How does it sound when you yell it? As in, the kid is 14 years old and didn't take out the trash after you told him 100 times...
• The Graduation Announcement Test: how does the full name sound when announced over the loudspeaker at high school graduation? Does it sound like a kid ready to take on the world? Or does it sound like a kid that is still attached to mommy and daddy?
• The Athlete Name Test (over the Intercom at say, the World Series): Now batting for the St. Louis Cardinals, your shortstop... #8... Sequoia Ray. Silence falls on the crowd. Did that guy just say Sequoia? Isn't that a tree? Or a Toyota SUV? What the heck kind of a name is that.
• The 4-year-old test aka the Tripp test: This isn't what Tripp thinks of the name, but mainly what he thinks of when he hears the name. Case in point: Sasha. Mom: "Tripp, what do you think of the name Sasha?" Tripp: "I like it. I will call her Sausage!" Thus ended the running for the name Sasha.
• The Tooth Fairy Test: this is essentially what the child's name would sound like when he/she says it after losing a bunch of teeth, as kids are prone to do. You don't want your kid saying his/her name with no teeth and it sounds like an expletive. Just sayin'.
• The "was she/he a slut/jerk in high school/college/other parts of your life test?": Whether you want to admit it or not, this is a legitimate test. It was the source of one of Tom's vetoes the last time. I have always loved one name, Tom hated it because of someone he knew, he vetoed. Case closed.
• The "how the name sounds with a thick Southern Accent" test: Mainly I am talking about my sweet Mom here, but also, about other folks here in the South. I'm a Southern girl and probably always will be, but that doesn't mean the kid's name has to sound weird coming out of a Southerner's mouth. For example: Michael is a very well-respected, well-rounded name. But put it in mouth of some deep Southerners, and it becomes "MY-kull." I can't take it.
• The "which one are you again?" test: everyone knows this test. There are 5 Dakotas in your kid's class. So they become-- Dakota A., Dakota S., Dakota John, and so on. Boy we make it hard on teachers sometimes.

Anyway, I realize I maybe should have bigger things to worry about with a baby on the way, but this is the source of most of my thoughts when I have free time. It will be interesting to see where we land and what this kid's name is. Probably after all of this, I will name him John. Or Jane.